It's been forever...so here's an update!

[PiecesofFaith]

Well, seeing as how the last journal entry was written during my pregnancy with Blake, I will fill you in on some of the key points.  Blake was born on April 27th, 2009, at 10lbs 3oz.  He was a monster!  Alli was and is an incredible big sister to him. 

I have had some health issues.  I recently had a partial hysterectomy bc of endometriosis.  I was in pain for almost 6 months straight until the surgery.  But, I'm finally not cramping.  I am still dealing with divorce stuff trying to get it taken care of so I don't have to deal with being married anymore.  He has a 6 month old daughter with his "roommate."  Idk how else to describe her bc he basically can't stand her but if he leaves she says he'll lose his daughter and is too much of a pansy to stand up to her. 

Anyway, Alli is 5 now and started kindergarten this year!  She is really very smart and understands so much more than you would think she could/should.  She is very beautiful and so amazing.  I can hardly put into words my love for her.  She is so much like me that we often butt heads and I'm sure she thinks that means I don't love her, but I want so badly for her to not follow in my footsteps that I am harder on her than I should.  But, we are gonna start working on our relationship.  She is very into music, imaginitive play, and everything girly!  She is way girlier than I ever was.  But, I'm hoping she will get a bit tougher than she is.  I don't want her to be as hard as I am, but she's so soft I worry about her.  She really is an amazing little girl!

Blake is 2.  No one could ever really put into words the love a mother has for her son.  The difference in relationships between a mother and son vs. a mother and daughter is so drastic it is almost alarming.  I don't have the same fears for him as I do Alli, which could explain the lightness of our relationship.  Blake is hilarious and he absolutely brings me out of myself.  It could just be his age, but he is such a rare child.  Like Alli he is very compassionate and empathetic, but he shows his caring nature in a different way that doesn't leave me afraid.  With Alli, her heart is unguarded and she loves completely.  Blake has a barrier to protect him.  He is also very protective and defensive of us. 

And, I lost a very beloved "grandmother" recently.  She was my best friend's grandmother, but I've known her since I was 10 and I loved her like a grandmother.  She was a rare and beautiful woman.  I haven't been working, so money was tight, but when I got the call from my best friend, I went without question.  I wouldn't have allowed myself to not go and I wouldn't allow my best friend to face it without me.  Gram could make you smile even when you were on the edge of a cliff about to jump.  She gave you a reason to stay alive.  She will be forever missed.  I'm so lucky to have known her.

Anyway, there is the update.  I hope to get back in touch with my lost friends and make new ones!