Your comments & thoughts please.

[birdfeeder]

Did I do the right thing??  What would you have done, (or would you have done nothing?

My almost 22 year old college daughter lives in my state, 3 hours from me.  Her Dad remarried and moved 1000 miles away (to a different state) last summer.  He flew her out by him for the 4-day Thanksgiving break.

And, he flew her out for her winter break from college.  She spent one night by me before going to the airport on the way to his house, and on the way back to her college town, she'll spend one night.  I won't see her much at all because I work, and by the time I pick her up from the airport and we get back to my place, it'll be at least 8:00 and nearly bedtime for myself and the other people I live with.  We'll all be going to sleep, and I'll get up early for work, and she'll be heading back to her college town and that will be all I'll see of her for.  She left for her Dad's before Christmas, so no,, she didn't spend Christmas with me either.

so,, I am very dissapointed in her that she is spending her entire winter break by her Dad.  Her only time with me is en-route to/from the airport. I've been pondering whether or not to let her know that I think this is lousy of her!!  Or keep my mouth shut because she get's pissed off easily and I don't want to loose her.

I decided to have a little seft respect and tell her that her Grandmother and I didn't deserve this.  (My Mom helps her a little financially, and has always been a big part of her life as she grew up.).  My Mom and I have her Christmas presents, and she's giving us no time to visit and exchange the gifts.

I'll be honest, it also bothers me that since her Dad was the one that broke up the marriage,, (cheating and other things), that she nevertheless seems to gravatate to him.  I told her all this in an email today since she is still at his place and will be flying back in a few days.  I didn't write her a novel, but I reminded her that her not giving her grandmother any time is really lousy and she should apologize to her, and how I don't understand how she gravatates to her Dad like she does, after all he did.  I was the one that raised her, and did everything with her.  Her Dad didn't have a whole lot to do with her until she was older.  He was busy cheating while I took her trick or treating, etc. etc. etc.

I'll stop here and ask "how would you have handled this??".  She's nearly 22.  I do not boss her around or tell her what to do at all.  She's lived in her college town now for almost 4 years, she's an adult.  Yet,, I feel it was lousy of her not to give her grandmother and I just a little time, and to spend her entire college break at her Dad's.