Its no secret that my life is nothing like I had planned it. I got pregnant when I was 21 - after being told when I was 18 that the only way I would be able to have children was with intense fertility treatments due to very bad endometrosis. I was with my boyfriend off and on for about 10 years at that point, and even though I was told I had very slim chance of getting pregnant, I was still on the shot - deprevaro. When I found out I was both scared and overjoyed, for obvious reasons on both accounts. After my daughter was born, I was on the pill - and having severe complications from having my first child. I ended up getting pregnant again with my second daughter. This resulted in my daughters being 1 year and 2 days apart - and I love them more than anything, and wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.
Their dad and I had many issues, dealing with trust, finances and living arrangements. Also the death of his mother, 2 weeks before my oldest was born. While I tried everything to work through it, he did enough in the relationship to get by. We ended up getting engaged - which was a mistake, but I didn't realize it at the time. Constant arguing and me feeling me like I was in this on my own, we ended up splitting up when my youngest daughter was about a year old. At first we had a civilized seperation, and were able to remain friendly towards one another. But again, I felt like I was in it on my own. I did everything for my children. When I was pregnant with my first daughter, he talked me into quitting my job -again, more stupidity on my part, and I didn't work again until my youngest daughter was 6 months old. When he left, I got a new job, working more hours - but still able to spend as much time as possible with my children. I did everything I could to make sure that they had everything that they wanted and needed, asking him for as little help as possible.
When I started dating my boyfriend, that all changed. My ex became as difficult as he could. Arguing with me over everything, and trying everything he could to make sure that he ruined any plans I had with my boyfriend - both with and without the kids. While it was stupid of me - and is still stupid of me - we do not have a court agreement for custody or child support. And I told him that I wouldn't file for one, as long as he helped me when I needed it and we at least split the custody of the girls. He was fine with that, until my boyfriend came along. When my ex had the girls, they never did anything, always stayed home watching tv, or going to his dads house and watching tv or playing with their dads girlfriend. My bf and I took them to movies, out to eat, to the mall, to the park, zoo, etc. Well when my ex found out he flipped and said bf was not allowed to do anything with the girls. Meanwhile, we had been together for about 5 months at this time, and he was with his gf for about 4 months and she moved in after a month. But I said nothing.
The last 2 years have been full of stress over him fighting everything I do, or say. Questioning every decision I make. Bad mouthing me and my bf to the girls - who at 4 & 5 come home and repeat everything. And that just pisses me off. My bf and I go out of our way to not badmouth my ex or his gf - especially in front of my daughters. He fights me over holidays with the girls, weekend schedules and judges everything I do. The best part is he thinks he can still control what I do - even on my weekends! And that is the number one reason why we broke up. He is very controlling and I just don't roll with that. Like I said, we have no court ordered agreement on custody or child support. He is trying to tell me where I can and cannot move to. And its not like I'm trying to move across the state, or even to another state! I am trying to do what is best for my daughters and where we live now is no longer best. I don't like the school district, since its the school district that I went to and I feel that they do ABSOLUTELY nothing to prepare anyone for real life. But because he doesn't want me to move an extra 15 min away, I'm supposed to bow down and follow? I don't think so.
So he has no one but himself to thank for us now having to go to court to have guidelines set. Then when he has a problem with it, he can fight with the court instead of me. I am so over his drama. And I really feel that it is because I am happy and moving on with my life and he has told me that he isn't happy with his gf