Haven't been in a good place for awhile as different aspects of my life has had me angry, sad, unhappy and depressed, side by side with being happy, energized, upbeat etc....just all round pissy mood.
I get so annoyed when I'm going through one of my moods and people keep insisting i talk about it...if i wanted to talk i would have mentioned so.....leave me the hell alone. there are the others who tell me they know me and know whats bugging me....oh please I'm going through early menopause and trust me you really do not know jack! is what i would love to holler but i bite my lip and hang up or walk away.
i feel used, and abused and unappreciated by the people closest to me...it's always taken for granted i am available or i have nothing else to do but cater to them. It is partially my fault i have the mentality of a caretaker and have a hard time saying no when i should, I aim to please....at my detriment as even when I'm sick they still expect me to function ( I've been told millions of time to shake it off, even when I'm down with the flu).
My one and only child irks my nerves constantly, she wants to be treated like a grown up at her convenience (even though she is 23). I have had occasions where I've wondered if the dynamics of our relationship shifted because of a full moon and have had to angrily remind her, she's the child and I'm the adult not the other way around. She does some dumb stuff, wants to party on my dime, when she's broke and when i tell her i refuse to do so, she gets mad. Whenever she is expected to do something constructive, all the excuses known to God and man come forth and yet with a party, the issues are what will i wear next?....I don't know but she has levelled out and changed a little since visiting her Dad and I am grateful that she is now taking life a little bit more serious now and is not that much of a pain these days.
Over the years, I've struggled with my weight, not that i took it for granted i would stay small and slender the rest of my life but i just gave up and gained a few pounds which wasn't so bad until one morning it was now a over-sized gut i just cant seem to kick. But hey i am slowly taking it a day at a time and working it off as i go.
this is just scattered and random...and may not make sense, i am sure there will be those who may relate, maybe in a different circumstance and others who may think its just rubbish but its just me saying what I'm thinking for now...i'll add more later, maybe.
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: