Sometimes when you want to know something bad enough you need to ask yourself the question many times before you come up with the best answer.

I would like to do that with the question - what is self esteem?

Because it's different for everyone and there's also many answers. You may believe that self esteem means standing up for yourself no matter what. But someone else may believe it means being quite and keeper their cool in the mist of confrontation.

These are two very different approaches to the same question and there are many more. I'm going to address some of them here.

What is self esteem? The ability to stay calm and grounded when everyone around you is in a state of chaos.

The ability to stay calm and grounded during these times come from a deep understanding that nothing real can be threatened and noting unreal exist.

That deep understanding comes from knowing yourself intimately. A knowing that regardless of what happens on the outside it can never truly effect who you are on the inside.

That deep understanding also comes from a deep level of self love and self acceptance which are determined by your level of self esteem.

What is self esteem?

It's the ability to make decisive decisions and follow through with consistent action. It means never allowing life to just happen. It means being an active participant in the way your life turns out.

If you have high self esteem you are resistant to other peoples demands and standards. You don't allow them to feed you their beliefs and thoughts about life without asking yourself if that makes sense to you. If it does fine, if it doesn't let it go and move on.

Living life with high self esteem means that you are capable of making big and little decisions on your own without the need to ask someone else first.

Let's ask it again. What is self esteem? It's the ability to be who you truly are on the inside without the need to change yourself to fit other people's perception of you.

Sometimes other people can get so caught up in the lives of others that they want to force them to be the way they think they should be.

But most of the time these people don't know what is best for you. They may think they do but they don't.

You are the best judge of who you are and what your life is ultimately about. Don't settle for someone else's view of you because you never know what that view may be.

They don't know you intimately. And only you can see those images in your head of your ideal life. And only you can live out that image. Don't allow others to hold you back.

Here we go again. What is self esteem?

The courage to step away from the crowd that makes you feel like less of a person. Don't allow naysayers and negative people to bring you down to their level. Because they will if you let them.

Part of having high self esteem is to know who will help you maintain it through life and who will try to take it away.

Associate with the positive thinkers, the idea thinkers, the people who will support you through thick and thin. Surround yourself with the people who have your best interest at heart.

These people may be hard to find because their few and far between but they are worth looking for.

Now I want to hear your answer. What is self esteem to you?

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