I am a parent who firmly believes that a properly executed swatting, or a time out given with an explanation are the right way to go when diciplining a kid. It seemed to have worked wonders in my house! All 3 of my older kids are very similar to the 9yr old I just described.
The 2 oldest haven't needed a swat, a timeout, or any actual punnishment in MONTHS. I would say for my 6 & 9yr olds, its been 6 months.
Lately though, my 9yr old, "V", has become a child that I simply don't know what to do with. I'm not a perfect parent, and I HAVE made mistakes. But things were going so well, I thought that the tough times for dealing with him were over.
For the last 3-4 weeks, he has been bossy, lazy, back-talking, defiant, and all around not pleasurable to be around.
Today he was giving his 2 sisters made up chores, pretending it was a game, just to boss them. The 4 yr old ended up in tears. I had asked him to stop more than once, and got "its just pretend" as a response. I told him, "I don't care, you need t stop". After I walked out of the room, he would start again.
I ended up dragging him *he was fighting me* from the girls' room, and plopping him in time out.
I made lunch durring the time out durration.
When I went to let him out of time out, he was talking to himself about how "I'm so good, I never to anything wrong, mom is so mean" etc.
So I went in there *admittidly I was pissed off* and told him real sternly that "that attitude is why your sisters don't like playing with you. You think you're better at everything than everyone else, and you don't like to do anything that you're not in control of. If you keep it up, you'll end up with no friends at all!
He just glared at me. So I told him that I made lunch, and after he ate, I had something else to say to him.
I gave him a cleaning rag, and some lysol, and told him that if he had the energy to boss people around till they cry, he had the energy to scrub their bathroom. And from now on, if I caught him being rude or mean to anyone, he would get more and more chores.
He looked subdued, said "okay mom" and went about his task.
Not 2 minutes later, his 5 y/o sister "L" finished lunch, and went to talk to him, and he slammed the bathroom door in her face.
What the HELL am I going to do with this kid?