Steve is not a man, Steve is the rare bone tumor that I have. That I have dealt with since I was 20. I am almost 37. This is the third return of "Steve". I have had 2 major surgeries in the past. One in 2002 was a very big one, I had to have my orbital plate under my right eye removed, because the tumor cells had invaded that area and at the rate of growth, I would have gone blind within 6 months. So they saved my sight back then, I have a titanium mesh plate in place of the bone, more like a sliver actually...lol. Well 3 years ago it came roaring back and I did one year of interferon, went off for about 7 months and new growth appeared. My oncologist got me into a clinical trial. So I took an experimental chemo treatment for a year. Now I have been off of any chemo treatment for a year now, and growth is fully active again. Only thing is....the doctors cannot do anything until the soft tissue growth starts to calcify. Then they can see it on a scan and go from there. I am so freaking scared every day. I am in so much pain every freaking day. Even though I have set time that I take my pain medication. (yes I take VERY powerful stuff) yes I am afraid I will get addicted to that as well. I just want to escape sometimes, to a wonderful quiet beach.