My story of true family love and acceptance, a little bumpy but worth it in the long run

[cslvr]

My now husband and I met while we were young adults, struggled in the beginning of our relationship with all of our friends and family predicting failure, a real Romeo and Juliet story. We prevailed. With my husband I inherited two very young boys, at the time 2 and 3 (I first met them at the age of 1 and 2). My husband obtained full custody due to our healthy stable lifestyle and the lack of wise decisions by their birth mother (lying cheating and heavy drug use). I thank the skies above everyday that my boys were young enough that they don't ever remember me not being a part of their life and the trauma that they had to go through for that brief point in time. In the beginning I was very shy and extremely cautious with them. They had already gone through so much in such a short time, there time with us was their time with their father and myself observing and slowly getting to know them, I also didn't want to complicate things and step on birth moms toes, i wanted her to know me and be comfortable with me around her children. After custody was resolved my Hubby and I got preggers and married (in that order, 6 months after baby girl was born) the boys were then 3 and 4. It was while I was so obviously preggos to the boys that I asked them to please call me Mamastine at least in our home, that is what I am to baby, that was cool with everybody after i asked permission and obtained acceptance from birth mom. I explained that a mother is somebody who is there for you always, somebody who takes care of you, feeds you, cleans and clothes you and loves you more then life itself no matter what. I also told my boys over and over again just how lucky they were that they had two mamas who loved them so so much, and a daddy who would always be there to love them and the biggest family in the world who all loved them so much. It was during that time that birth mom actually called me to thank me for being such a good mom to her boys when she was not able to be there for them. And she just adores my baby girl, the girl that she never got to have. My hubby the birth mom and myself have i think a unique relationship, though the only thing we have in common are these three gorgeous children, thats enough. We all love these children with the same love and we communicate with what is new with the children so that structure and discipline is constant no matter where the children are visiting. And quite frankly with three children it is nice to have a built in 'free' babysitter (now that she is clean and sober). In our family there is no step anything, we are a family in every seance of the word, a family to us is people who love each other whole heartedly and unconditionally we take care of each other and best of all we turn up the music and we all dance and sing and play music together as a family. My boys are very smart, and they know the difference between the loving bond with their birth mommy and their inherited love with their Mamastine (I refuse to respond to mommy, its mamastine or mama to my baby girl). I found it easy to take time to love each of my child with the same love for each of their very unique characteristics, I try very hard to not play favorites or any such thing. I love each of my children the same for who they are individually. Our only problem is that there just isn't enough time in the day for all the hugs and all the love and attention that needs to go around, though we are doing our very best for our young family. Its also embarrasing when the oldest boy now 5 brags to his friends that he has 'two mommys and they dont', extremly awkward since birth mom and i go to a lot of school functions and dr.s apts together, it just looks awkward.

I am so thankful for everything in my life and the path that we have chosen and the right order in which we have obtained our milestones so far in life, though its not traditional, most families these days aren't really traditional anymore.

[supermum212]

May. 30, 2007 at 8:42 AM i think it great that you can all get along, especially fo rthe kids sake. Its a shame more people cant take a leaf out of your book the world would be a much happier place!!!