For over a year now I've been a member of a great mommy group on MSN. I have come to personally know a handful of members and have a very good online relationship with many others. There are also a few there that I don't at all care for. The managers and admins there are full on participants and run the group like a family. Everyone knows the rules and we're respectul of each other. There is ONE board where everyone can go if they have beef with another member OR they take it off the group and battle through email. If we don't care for another member we stay out of their posts. When we spot a troll we call them out and they are told by "the powers that be" to knock it off, bounce, or get bounced. Trolls don't last long there - we don't worry about being PC and not offending anyone, we ALL know what we know - we can spot a shit-stirrer a mile away and the group, tight knit as we are, won't tolerate it. This group's been around for 5 years with LITTLE controversy and drama. I LOVE these women.

I guess I was naive to think that all mommy sites were like that one. I came here expecting the same thing but on a larger scale. BOY did I get rudely awakened. Alot of the moms on that MSN site came ovver here with me too (even the owners of that group). Most of them have left screaming from here. I have stayed because I have also met some awesome women here. On the flip side though, I have come across some of the craziest BS I have ever witnessed.

I have been here since March and in these past 2 (nearly 3) short months I have seen more drama, name calling, pettiness, judgement, cattiness, PC policing, fakeness, and cliquing, than I ever have in my entire life.

Moms asking legitimate questions, looking for honest help and answers have been attacked for their spelling, "ignorance", thinking differently then someone else, using a term someone else finds "offensive", etc. WTF?! Either offer legitimate assistance and solutions or SHUT THE HELL UP!

I have seen people stating their OPINION and acting like it was a fact sent down by congress and mankind's highest power and SHREDDING anyone who DARE disagree, question, offer up an alternative OPINION.

I have seen HYPOCRACY of the highest level. Someone reporting a journal because they found a term offensive. When they were told that they had a choice to NOT read the journal (as there was an advisory tag on it) their response was that it was a public journal so it was their right to read it and respond to it. The SAME person posted a journal with their opinion about soemthing and when they received contrary opinions posted in their journal comments had the AUDACITY to tell those posters they had NO RIGHT to comment their opinions  because it was HER JOURNAL POST?!?!

I have seen people DELIBERATLY go into groups they have no reason to be in and post inflamatory entries to specifically rile people up.

I have seen people reporting people for the most ridiculous things - an avatar of a woman in a bikini is now OFFENSIVE? What do you were to the beach?

I have seen people kicked out of groups because their avatar was offnesive. An actor in stage make up - only his face. That's grounds for the boot?!?!

I have never seen SO many people "offended" by so many things. I am baffled as to how these people walk out there front door and face the world if so much "offends" them.

Here is what I feel. We ALL know what is really going on. MANY are acting childish. Name calling, reporting, blocking, starting drama on purpose. There is an easy fix to all this. Maybe everyone should just SAY what they really mean! Get out from behind the "I'm offended by that" apron. Say what you really feel. The people who use these tactics are afraid to say what is really going on with them. This is called PROJECTON in the psychology field. It's called cowardice in mine. If someone pisses me off I will tell them "you pissed me off". I don't care if it makes me unpopular. I don't care if that person no longer likes me. You don't like what I have to say or the way I have to say it STAY OUT OF MY POST! That does not seem like a very difficult concept.

EVERYONE has opinions, thoughts, ideals. Not everyone agrees with everyone else's. SO WHAT. That gives no one the right to tell someone else they're wrong, stupid, ignorant, or to report them to the PC police. Instead of ATTACKING another mom with a differnt view, why don't you ask a real question, find out where they're coming from, maybe THEY"RE right, maybe you both are, MAYBE you can offer them VALID INFORMATION that they did not know and that could HELP them! When you come out swinging NO ONE gets help. WHen you come out swinging and then act surprised and pissed off that someone swings back then you're a liar or a hypocrite.

I look at all this craziness and think "is this who we really are? Is this what all of these women are like in real life?" Or is this just a bunch of women who are bored and disgruntled with their own reality and they are looking to drag others down into the pit to wallow with them? Misery DOES love company and I've never seen that evidenced more clearly than here. Why not post the TRUTH about your issues and unhappiness, your self doubt. You'd be surprised how many others will come stand by your side and say "I hear you, going through that myself, I'm here if you want to talk". Who are you trying to convince of your perfection? Why do you need to show yourself of as "better than" to others? No one really believes you. Are you trying to convince others or are you trying to convince yourself?

NO ONE is happy all the time. We're humans, we get sad, pissed, depressed, angry, hurt. When we are honest with all of these emotions, as well as putiing out the good stuff, we will connect with each other and come to help each other regardless of our differences. It is amazing what we can learn from each other when we all take the time to SHUT THE HELL UP and listen. It's SO very hard to hear each other when we're all so high up on pedastals singing our own prasies. NO ONE has all of the answers. But everyone has at least ONE and we can all benefit from each others wisdom.

I know this is true because I have seen it first hand in my other group. And I have come across a handfull of awesome women here who get this and agree. I'm in "their" groups here too.

I'm sure the shit-slinging will not stop here because of this post. I don't really care anymore. I've said my piece and I will practice what I preach. Maybe some others, who see things the same will join me, and we'll be happy in a group together somewhere, uncensored, grown-up, willing to listen to the message and able to ignore some of the "words" to get it. We'll be happy and helpful to each other and the rest of the fakes and complainers and easily offended can go on their merry way and continue to wallow in their masked unhappiness and tear each other apart.

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