child support VS the daddy! ADVICE??

[lovealwayzashes]

Well when i first got pregant me and the father of my daughter talked about as long as he gave me money for the baby when she needed we would work this out without the whole court thing! WELL of course He hasnt paid nothing but about $60 in 10 months.  He's done nothing for her at all.  So my decision now is whether its even worth it taking him to court. HE already has a child with someone else he pays child support and half the time doesnt even pay for him so im not sure if i should take him to court if i not doing all that bad on my own or just leave it be and just not try to force him to do anything for her?  What do you think??

[NatalieRamirez]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:47 AM I think regardless of how you are getting along. Some men need that little extra nudge to be responsible. I would in my opinion establish those guidelines ASAP. Get into court whether he likes it or not.... Someone needs to help you pay for this child... Why not the daddy? Good Luck to you... And be assured it may not be today or tomorrow but, he will eventually get over it...

[Unchained]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:47 AM It is for the child not you. So if he isn't paying I would take him to court. She not only deserves to have him be responsible but it is his obligation. Perhaps if you get him in court and they see that he is a dead beat dad they will do something. THEN maybe he will stop having kids. Just my thoughts at least.

[robinann5]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:48 AM Well, I'm sure most people would tell you take him to court, he should pay child support, while in theroy this is good, but it doesn't always work out that way! You'll spend alot of time and energy on court and he still may not pay, and the court dates could drag on for years! Some men seem even willing to go to prison rather than pay child support. Personally I feel like if he doesn't want to be part of her life and help support her, why force him. I  want my X to pay because he wants to and he loves the child. You probaly should at least get it into court, get it all set up, and establish paternity...then see what happens. But don't count on any of the money.

[cbx3mom]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Weigh out the situation. Does he have visitation? If he has to pay would he want visitation? Do you want your daughter around him? Is it gonna make things harder? At the same time she is his responsibility too. Even if you don't get all of what he owes you every little bit helps when you have kids.

[CookMom]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:52 AM Okay so this is a different situation but it will help you I am sure!  We had a rental property.  (Only becuase we weren't sure if my dh was getting out of the military or not- were gonna live there) 1st tenet screwed us out of nearly 3 grand.  My grandparents (who were managing the property) took her to court.  She ever complied with anything but they got a judgement against her for the money she owed.  Of course she didnt' pay and it seemed a waste of time.  About a month ago she won 1 million in the lottery!  She was all over the news and I can send the judgement papers in to them now.  You NEVER KNOW what will happen.  Take him to court.  Besides all that it will show your daughter that you are willing to fight for her.  Good luck to you!

[MyBabyTanner]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:53 AM I think that a court order would be wise. Some parents need to have the rules written out for them. This would also help your daughter maintain a relationship with her father becuase the court would determine when and how they get to see each other. Even though you don't think much of her father it is very important that you allow your daughter the chance to make that decision on her own. She may see something in him that you don't, or maybe she will later decide to not have anything to do with him...but it should all be left up to her. Both parents should have equal rights to be a part of your daughters life. A court order will help the two of you (the father & and mother) reach an agreement without conversing directly. Then if he doesn't abide by the court order he will be forced to give up rights to his daughter. Since I don't know any of you I don't know what anyone is actually wanting...ie...does the dad want a relationship, or does he just want to go away?...do you want your daughter to have a relationship with her father, or do you try to keep him away?...but most importantly...what does your daughter want? and the only way she can answer that is with the option to decide for herself. I know first hand that it is very important for a child to have the support of her family to be gently guided to make wise choices. My parents were divorced when I was 8 and I always heard bad things about my dad from my mom, and bad stuff about my mom from my dad...it was horrible! I am also a proud step-mom to a 10 year old little girl who is going through this EXACT same issue right now. She has had little to no relationship with the girl because no court order was placed, and the mom never allowed a relationship to form. The whole thing has been very hard on her, and amazingly she is smart enough to ignore what everyone says, and she listens to her heart. I believe that she will make the right choices with this situation! I hope all this rambeling has helped. I don't want to offend you or upset you with anything I said. I am just going at the issue from all the angels...this is just my take on the issue...I hope it helps! I am definatly for a court order!

[silveradogirl]

Jun. 2, 2007 at 11:54 AM I think you should take him to court because technically if he isnt paying child support when he has to he would go to jail. I have a friend whose brother went to jail because they told him that he wasn't paying child support when he was, they just messed the paper work up. He was in there for like 2 days before they straightened it out. So in short I would take him to court for it becuase your daughter at least deserves that to make sure she can  get what she needs.