Friends...

[Lazarat]

I love the feeling of being connected to someone in no matter how big or small.  Since having moved here to New York all I do is work.  I hardly have any friends.  And it is disappointing because that is the reason I left California.  i thought that by moving here, I would find less opne time, less chance of feeling lonely.  And now, I live in a city that never sleeps and yet I am still longing for something.  Sometimes, I cannot wait to get home because I know that at the very sound of my keys unlocking the door, my dear little someone's ears will perk up...whine if I dont pick him up right away..and instantly put a smile or drag out a laugh out of me..chasing these lonely thoughts away.  I see him growing in front of me and already there is a part of me tha is sad because he isn't my baby anymore...he isn't a baby anymore.  Oh he still craves my attention and carrying him around.  But he is just so big now.  He isn't this small thing anymore where all we had was time to look at each other...for me to hold him and rock away in the rocking chair.  There's this picture of us looking at each other.  The photographer's intention was to bring our faces closer so that in the shadow our face together looks like a heart.  It didn't turn out that way.  But I still love the picture anyway.  In the picture all you can see in the silohoutte is my baby looking at me...just me, recognizing, studying the face of his mother...I have this happy look on my face because I felt so happy, beautiful...and I know that is just how he affects me...this wonderful feeling of delight.  At some point I got cynical and stopped believing in fairy tales and magic.  I mean that is supposed to be what happens so you are considered an, "adult" right?  Well I don't know with him, I feel freer...like the magic is alive again...I laugh so much more and smile and giggle although it sometimes feels like an unwanted chore....I love him so much.  I can't imagine day without him.

[SJMVarner]

Jun. 17, 2007 at 2:59 PM

Welcome to motherhood!  An no matter how big or bad they get, they'll always be your baby.  Noone else inthe whole world can do what you are right now.  Good Job Mommy!

[NoahsMom07]

Jun. 19, 2007 at 1:36 AM wow, he is very lucky to have you! You have that sparkle don't let it fade away. Doesn't matter if we are adults. : )