sounds like the problem is not the woman not having a degree, but the husband not living up to his vows.

 I wouldn't  want to get married with the thought of 'what do I need to do incase my husband divorces me?'

 

I'm not saying woman should get an education or be strong or work on keeping their looks, but let's not blame the woman who stays hom and care for 3 kids or 4 kids while the dad goes off to work because she isn't our getting a better degree.

 

Kiter Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:20 PM

I'm one of those women.  I have no money and I'm not working.  I am just now (in the Fall) going to finish my college education I started in 1993.  I foresee a divorce in my near future so I want to be prepared.  Money is too tight around here to save though.  I've also put on weight over the past 12 years I've been with him.  Everything you said is true and has been on my mind alot.  Just not as easy to do as it may sound.

susanluv Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:21 PM

ceciliam Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:22 PM

I am happy you are saying this cause I was just thinking the same for myself.Even though I am young ,I already have 4 children,stay at home mom and married to someone who is acting like a jerk and I just might need to get out of it even though he is the provider.

MomaJGuerra Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:26 PM

I find myself in the situation Kiter described :(  If I could go, I would.  This is good advice to young women though, who still have time to make sure they are self sufficient even within a relationship.  We often marry with the foolish assumption that as long as our basic needs are met, we will be happy forever more.  No one wants to imagine that things aren't going to work out.  I made this mistake and have wasted a lot of years paying for it.  Definitely good advice....

heyiheardthat Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:31 PM

I definitely don't see my husband divorcing me, especially for someone younger - seeing as how I'm 20 years younger than him as it is. However, I am a woman who doesn't work, who has no money of her own. I stay at home with all the kids. One thing a man has got to realize also, and the woman, is that after 10 years of marriage, it's called alimony. And if you have kids, whether you've been married 5 days or 20 years, you get child support anyway, so you're not COMPLETELY alone, but I do think if you're old enough to get married and you're old enough to make those kinds of decisions, then the only person at fault for not understanding the consequences is yourself.

jmstribley Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:32 PM

Great advise,  thanks, I went back to school for Med Assistant and I'm trying to find a part time employment, now my problem so far is all I see now is full time, something got to give or I might have to go full time.  and after so many years at home I got to admit that I'm scared and nervous.  I was a homemaker for 20 yrs.

mommaloves4 Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:33 PM

Great advice. I am prepared in case something were to happen to my husband. I strongly encourage women I know to have some type of home business ... in doing so, in case something happens they won't have to leave their children by working outside of the home. (I know some women already do so it wouldn't be an issue) but ... in the case of a divorce or death of a husband where the mom was a SAHM, the children's lives would be even more changed if the mom had to leave home to work. If they spent time building a business before hand, they wouldn't have to alter their life styles that much.

Blessedbymany Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:39 PM

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, I AM CONFIDENT ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF TO KNOW I CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT MY MAN, MAYBE NOT EMOTIONALLY BUT FINANCIALLY, BUT YES THIS IS GREAT ADVICE BECAUSE A LOT OF WOMEN DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF THAT HAPPENING.

older Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:39 PM

I have been through a divorce but I was independent and well my ex did not pay for much. I made less than him but had to pay the bills (rent, car, water, power, telephone, etc.). I am remarried now and my husband now pays for everything and well he gives me money to pay for things that I would like to get if he hasn't already gotten them for me. I do feel for the women that have to start all over and don't know what to do or even how to begin life on their own... they need to get independent before they do have to go down the road to divorce or etc. thanks for sharing that with me but I have been there and well I was tough and stood on my own to feet.

momof2lovnlife Jun. 19, 2007 at 5:45 PM