Envy

[Lazarat]

I am working again.  I really really hate working these hours.  Looking to change it really really soon.  With nothing else to do, I scan the web for pictures.  And it's always the same thing.  I find thse girls pictures and I think why can't I be that confident.  They look so pretty and happy.  Why do I feel like I don't know what that feels like?  Haven't I ever been happy?  Didn't I ever have moments when I was that carefree, embracing life at that moment, whatever it was offering?  I look at their pictures and grow envious at theri ability to be brazen.  Their ability to exude confidence, beauty and power.  I want to be like that but what keeps holding me back?  What keeps me from being so free?  What, have I always been this tight of an asse? 

[SJMVarner]

Jun. 21, 2007 at 7:25 AM Awww Girl.....You are way too hard on yourself.  Why are you comparing yourself to everyone else?  When you get that worked up think of it like this.....MY SON LOVES ME JUST THE WAY I AM!  You don't have to impress anybody.  Working sucks, I can sympathize.  Just be yourself and everything else will fall into place.  I think we put too much effort in trying to be or impress other people.  I found out by experience that if we just be who we are, we do better in life.  SENDING YOU HUGGIES!!! 

[NoahsMom07]

Jun. 22, 2007 at 1:01 AM I like what SJMVarner said. I definitely agree with her. But I can't help but feel the way you feel. I do it all the time. Maybe its because we have the free time to look at their pics. We dont ahve the time to actually go out  and live life the way we really want to. I wish i knew the answers. I am also on that journey. Looking for those answers. Promise, when I find them I will let you know lol : )