Well, here I am.....but where am I going?

[shimmifairy]

Well now.....I guess I'll jump right in with some things that have been on my mind lately......I had my life pretty well planned out when my ex husband decided he wanted a divorce.....I've been slowly healing and picking up the pieces these last three years......it's taken longer than I thought it would to truly heal....I had to discover who I was now that I wasn't Mrs. E........ after you spend 10 years with someone, it's harder to divorce yourself from that identity than it is from the relationship.......

I have tried dating a couple of times since then.....Wow....that's been discouraging to say the least! It seems so much like the guys that I meet  are stuck in Peter Pan land.....they don't want to grow up.....and I don't quite understand why so many of them want the younger girls.....at almost 35 I just can't see what I would really have in common with someone 7 or 8 years younger than myself......but I have consistanly seen men my age go for theses young women who have so much less life experience than they do......maybe it's just a guy thing, lol........It's also very scary to date when you have children. I've stayed pretty much to myself after my last relationship ( which lasted about 7 mos.) fell through.......I'm afraid that they will get attached to people who aren't going to stick around....so, I have just stopped dating all together........

The funny thing is, is that I really don't miss it right now.....I'm content as I am.....I wonder if this is a phase - like the anger and hurt from the divorce was - or if something important in my heart has broken and just won't work anymore......I have some very definite trust issues for certain,lol, but I'm busy getting my schooling taken care of as well and just don't have much time to spend building a relationship.....I've also stopped thiking in terms of myself and someone else....I've thought about buying a home on my own and about how it will be my responsibilty to send my kids on to college when it's their turn.....the thought of a future alone doesn't seem scary anymore.....I have my friends , my kids and myself....... 

[TwinsKickButt]

Jan. 24, 2007 at 7:13 PM Ahhh~I am glad to read that last part...
"the funny thing is, is that I really don't miss it right now.....I'm content as I am...."
I too divorced after three children and 10 years. My ex couldn't keep his rocket in his pocket and well...he was mighty abusive. I was scared and alone and I first thought that I would rather be in that abusive cheating relationship than being alone. HaHa! How our feelings and views change with time.

I dated and met some really big idiots. After my dating experiences, I just got fed-up and focused on my daughters and on our future. I went back to college, got a job in a career that I would have never imagined and was able to save enough to buy a fixer-upper home (boy did it need it!). Just when I was confident and proud of myself...someone noticed me. Someone liked me for who I was, a proud single mother, making it on her own, capable of fixing things and not depending on anyone. I married that someone. = )

Remember where you have been. It's good to remember because it makes us who we are and that my dear, makes us strong. You sound like a strong woman. Don't loose courage. Things will work themselves out. Take some time for yourself & for your family...the rest will come on its own.

(( Hugs ))

[smileysmama]

Jan. 30, 2007 at 1:24 PM I can certainly understand. I was divorced after almost 7 years and one child. Now that I am remarried and expecting my second child with him (third child total), I almost wish I had taken a little extra time for myself. I love my husband and kids, but was never really on my own. I married at 18 and remarried 3 years after my divorce. Don't be in a rush to be with someone. It will happen, when you least expect it. You will need to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, but it will happen! Enjoy your time now and your children. Stay positive! I'm rooting for you!