Should I be concerned about this?

[Becki67]

I had a new babysitter over Saturday night. She is the daughter of a friend, nineteen years old, and seemed very responsible. I know that for at least part of the time she was here she was watching my kids play computer games on my computer, in my bedroom.

 Tonight I discovered someone had been on my computer using Facebook. At first I freaked, thinking it was my husband, but I looked at the e-mail address and it was an aol address. I'm certain it's the babysitter, so I registered for facebook and found her profile.

I'm a little bothered by this. I have a lot of personal and financial papers in the area where my computer is, and they're not all well hidden. For that matter, I have some financial information on the computer itself. I gave the sitter permission to be in my bedroom to watch the kids while they were on the computer, but never gave her permission to use the computer herself. In fact, had she asked, I would have told her that I prefer she NOT use my computer.  Am I overreacting and being a giant b*tch, or is it reasonable to wish that a brand-new babysitter not go online on my computer? I can't wait until the kids wake up to ask if she was using the computer while they were in the room. If she wasn't, it means she went BACK into my room when she had no legitimate business there.

[CJ1230]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 9:58 PM I would be upset if my babysitter used it without permission....mine always ask.  But I also have to say that perhaps you shouldnt allow your children to be on it when she is there either.  We have a password on ours so if it is shut down then can turn it on but they cant log on...something to think about.

[ST6153]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 9:59 PM ummm, well once they go to bed its kind of hard nowadays to keep that age person occupied and im sure to her it will seem like you are being mean because she probably has no interest in your stuff anyway, a better approach might be to ask the kids not to play on the computer when shes there and advise her you dont want them or her in your room.

[snaphappee]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:00 PM I would think it would be common sense to ask permission before using someone else's computer. I would completely freak out if a babysitter used my computer, but I'm kind of obnoxious about it. I don't even let the kids use it very often. I don't think you're out of line being bothered by this.

[forRobyn]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:02 PM I think you have a reason to be upset, but be careful how you handle the situation.  I did a lot of babysitting in my early 20's and at the time did not have a computer at home so I would use the family's computer.  The first time I did this I did not ask.  The mom approached me about it very calmly and told me why she was unhappy.  I apologized for using the computer with out asking.  The situation turned out fine.  Her problem was that I did not ask.  From then on when her daughter took a nap I would get on the computer.  After this incident I   ALWAYS asked the parents permission.  If they said no, then I went no where near the computer.

[ilovemybananer]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:04 PM I would probably think you wouldn't mind if you said it was okay to watch your kids use it. More in likely the computer program you use has a way to log people in and out. You can make a special login for when the babysitter is there that locks her out from everything on your computer except what you want her to have access to.  Since you are worried about other things in the room you should probably make it off limits when you are not home to everyone, if you are that uncomfortable. 

[kateandjona]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:07 PM It is absolutely reasonable to not allow a babysitter online access on your computer.  I'd take the laidback approach though, and assume partial responsibility THIS ONE TIME ONLY if I thought perhaps I hadn't made my feelings about this clear. 

[tessasmom]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:39 PM If I was babysitting I would expect to be able to use the computer unless specifically told no too. If I was allowed in your room to watch children play on it I would assume you weren't very uptight about the computer or your room. These days using a computer is just as normal as watching TV or using the telephone. I would say just let her know next time you don't want her to use it without making an issue about it.

[mitch576]

Jun. 25, 2007 at 10:49 PM i don't think i would like her in my room touching my things either....

[ZakarysMom]

Jun. 26, 2007 at 12:37 PM I think it is totally inappropriate for the babysitter to use any device in your home unless he/she asks permission.  Firstly, she is being paid to babysit, not play in your home.  Secondly, her presence in your home is a privilege, not a given; therefore, she has no guaranteed right to be on the computer.  How would she feel if you were in her home (invited) and began using her computer without permission?  Third, even if you express that she not use the computer at all, there is no guarantee that they won't; so you really should password protect the pc and restrict the kids from using it while you are out of the house.   I see a computer (regardless of its location) as something as private as an address book, Palm device, checkbook/financial records and filing cabinet.  The babysitter sure doesn't have a right to go into those places...what makes them think the computer is any different.  I would express your displeasure, acknowledging that you did not lay groundrules. I also would not use this babysitter again.

[The5Bombergers]

Jun. 26, 2007 at 4:32 PM I agree with both sides.  On the one hand, your computer has your personal stuff on it, and being that its in your room, also a personal place, it shouldn't be used by her without your permission.  However, since you told her to supervise your children using it, she probably thought it would be okay to use it for herself.  I think your best option is to just password protect the computer from now on, and maybe get a different babysitter.