I've always known I am a great Aunt, but now it is official. Miss Sophia Ruth was born Monday afternoon (Jan 15th) to my niece Ashley and her boyfriend Justin. We all waited in the waiting room and talked about anything and nothing, passing the time until we heard something from someone, a nurse, Justin, anyone! I thought about the movie Parenthood and we laughed at a few quotes from that one, my sister walked down the hall and eavesdropped outside the door, she came back in tears. It was so hard to hear her baby girl crying or in pain. I thought about the day I will become a grandma and realized I would never worry about my daughter, but worry about my sons handling the burden of being a dad to be. I think it is so much easier on the men, but I am a woman who has given birth, of course I would think that.

We took walks outside for smoke breaks, hit the Starbucks stand, and paced. After 2 1/2 hours of pushing, we had a baby girl. Justin and the nurse carried her to the common area for each of us to look at. She was wet and still squawking as newborns tend to do. I was afraid to touch her, couldn't believe she was real and that our Ashley had a daughter. Tears welled in my eyes, but didn't spill over. They took the baby to the nursery where they weighed her (7 lbs even) and measured her (19 inches long) and checked every inch of her. My sister did hand signs to those of us peering in through the glass to let us know her weights and measurments. The look of joy on her face was indescribable. I watched my sister become a grandma. The nurse washed Sophia and took her to the warming table to be checked over and I watched them rotate her hips, feel her head, and then flip her over to check her spine. As the nurse ran her gloved finger down Sophia's spine, I thought about my own little angel whose spine was not as perfect. My heart broke for my little girl who would never know the touch of her mother's hands, never know the safety of her father's arms. I sobbed and passed the camera off to my brother in law. I didn't want to make this day about my pain, so I walked away. I thanked God over and over that our Sophia was healthy. Strong lungs and healthy strong in body. Like the rest of my family, I was allowed to go in with Justin and see her face to face. She was hungry and sucking her thumb, I stroked her hair and told her how loved she is. My arms ached to hold her, but I knew she was to stay in the warmer.

When I saw my niece again she was very sore and looked very tired. I remembered that feeling of sheer exhaustion, the feeling you couldn't move a muscle without the help of everyone. She was hurting and she sounded so weak. I passed on any advice I could think of and said a silent prayer for her. I doubt she will even remember I was there, but I'm sure God was listening, afterall...he had been answering my nine months of prayer for our little Sophia Ruth.

Tags: birth story, families

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