Trying to find a balance

[jaabenny]

While being so stressed trying to figure out how to get my son his new brace, I find myself being short with my boyfriend and my son.  I'm just trying to help our situation by researching and talking to people and reading and getting as much information on everything I can but its making our home life horrible!  I need to be able to find a balance.  I'm doing as much as I can for our son but its making me a mean, rude, horrible person to be around.  If I cut back on my research and everything, nothing will get done to get my son's brace soon but I'll be a nice, calm person again.  I hate feeling like I'm annoyed with our son but honestly, I do sometimes.  Not because I don't love him, but because I need to find someone to blame in all of this.  Since I can't even get a real person on the phone from the insurace company and the doctors are doing everything they can to help, my family is taking the brunt of my frustrations.  I know I'm not really annoyed or mad at our son, he didn't do anything to be born with a clubfoot.  I'm just annoyed that I have to deal with all this shit in the first place.  I shouldn't have to fight so hard to get him the medically NECESSARY things he needs.  I'm overwhelmed, stressed, tired and just fed up with everything right now, but I know the end is not in sight yet.  We have at least 3 more years of braces and special doctors and special shoes and stupid insurance companies and I don't know how I'm going to do it.  Yes, I will do it because I'll do anything for our son.  But I don't know if I can do it happily and easily.  God, please help us get through this and create a path for us to take that will lead us successfully to Benny's recovery. 

[lcm3181]

Jul. 17, 2007 at 9:31 PM Keep your chin up. It does seem endless, I agree. And it seems like when one thing is fixed another pops up. I try to set apart a time where I don't even allow myself to think of the "important" things and focus on the real important things, like Ben! It is hard, but it will work out in the end. It seems like a huge thing now, but when you see your little guy walk, kick a ball, run or just be "normal" you will know that you are a good mommy and you are doing your very best for your sweet baby! 

[pbkalovetz]

Jul. 18, 2007 at 2:26 AM Everything will be alright.. have faith.. and pray.. in any way and any form.. I am always here for you and your son..