I have a question that might be a part of the "Mommy War" thing.

[calydu]

I was watching a story about a few celebrity Moms.  They were saying how hard it is to be a single mom.  Well, I was rather interested because you know that no matter how famous or rich a Mom actually is, they still have troubles just like those who are on the other end of the spectrum.

I am like, wow, I am so impressed with this one celebrity.  Her hubby divorced her and she is the only one raising these 3 kids and working on a weekly TV series and the occasional movie.  Then I figured out who her hubby was and I couldn't believe that he could be so bad of a person.

So, I started looking into their PR stories.  Here is what I found out.

They mutually wanted a divorce.

He is paying a very good amount of child support and is always a few months ahead of schedule.

He keeps the kids every other weekend, Friday from school and drops them off to school on Monday. 

They trade holidays and even celebrate some all together in the same house, they take turns on each others houses.

He gets them 2-3 nights a week and either cooks dinner or takes them out to eat.

He attends almost every school, sport, or activities function.

School and Summer vacations are spent  equally together, almost down to the same amount of days.

She has a Nanny and a Maid who live with her.  He has a Maid that comes in a few times a week.

They keeps the kids while the other is filming in another location for their show or movies.

He has turned down roles because she wouldn't change her schedule, but expects him to change his when he has already signed the contract so she can take on a movie.

Now, I am in no way saying that she is not a good mother,  She is an excellent mother and has never to my knowledge made a bad choice as a Mother.  But here is my point and question.

The other 2 Moms in this story hav different circumstances than her's. 

For one the Dad is in the picture but is late with child support, doesn't always take the kids for his 2 weekends a month, and is not a really active Dad when it comes to school and activites.

For the 3rd one, her hubby died while the kids were young and she is doing it all by herself.

Somy question is, should their be a few different terms for a SINGLE MOM?  Should it by like

SMWAD  Single Mom With Active Dad

SMWSAD  Single Mom With Somewhat Active Dad

SMWND  Singel Mom With No Dad

Ofcourse these were the names that I came up with on the fly.  But I am sure that you get the picture.

Then I started thinking about the SAHM as well.  Should there be a:

SAHMBH  Stay At Home Mom By Choice

SAHNWC  Stay At Home Mom Without Choice

The reason I ask the last one is that I have stated myself that I love being a SAHM but I have to deal with depression and other issues because it was not my choice.  I was a nurse and in my junior year for my BSN when I was injured at work and it ruined my carreer and then other health problems prevented me from working at all.

I am in no way wanting to add fuel to the Mommy Wars or cause a heated debate about this, but I have been trying to figure out how to ask these questions without causes trouble and then today's themewas the Mommy Wars.

[Felipa]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 7:53 PM

My initial reaction was sure why not add a little more to the title, because me and my husband had separated and I moved across the country to be with my family.  So I was essentially a single mom, but I was not alone.

But then I thought no to adding to the title because there's ppl out there in marriages where the father/mother may or may not take part in everyday life.  I have a friend that lives with her husband, they have 2 sons, but there's no relationship between them its all financial.

So I think call yourself what your comfortable with, personally I'm not one for titles.

So I guess I'm pretty neutral on this one :o)

[cherylsomebody]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 7:59 PM Me personally would like to work. I love going out making my own money. But with the problems with my body now I am unable to do the fast pace this world carries now. So yes I deal with depression but I also like being home at times......I like taking care of my garden when I can and having time for hobbies and being home for the two chaps that are still home with me. I like both worlds.......

[shishie]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 8:20 PM This is the first time i have been a SAHM in 13 yrs, but not by choice.  It's only for health reasons yet I enjoy both ways- when I worked and now.

[Lb128f]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 9:23 PM Wow, great question!! And, interesting celebrity story -- who was it...lol? ;-) I think they have worked out a pretty good plan! As far as what to call ourselves...I just like "Mom." I mean working or not...we are all Moms and the whole Mommy Wars is about just that, isn't it? Which "group" of Moms does it the right way, better, more. when, where, for what amount of time, etc...does it really matter? We are Mom's and at the end of the day our main priority is the care and nurturing of our children. I have worked and stayed at home. I prefer staying at home but also understand the need for some Mom's to work (or who want to work). I love your acronyms, cute...mine would have to be "M"

[nannab]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 10:12 PM

this is me MMWSDWS

MARRIED MOM WITHOUT SPERN DONOR WHO SUCKED

WHATCHA THINK?

NO I THINK I'LL JUST STICK TO MOM

NANNAB

[bcoll]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 11:24 PM I wouldn't know where to put myself, lol. i'm a stay at home mom, who works, figure that, i work a fourteen hour shift on both saturdays and sundays so i can be at home with my kids all week. my husband works all week, to have weekends with the kids. we have evenings as a family. not perfect, but what is? and it works for us.

[calydu]

Jul. 19, 2007 at 11:37 PM

Hey, nannab !!!

What's a spern?

(Original Poster)

[nannab]

Jul. 20, 2007 at 12:37 AM

THAT IS SPERM SPELLED WRONG BY A MTT MOTHET THATS TIRED

SO GOOD NIGHT

NANNAB

[estop]

Jul. 20, 2007 at 9:05 AM i really dont think about titles really but im a sahm but i had to quit work  for multi reason .i been a sahm since sept 21,1998.i even try to go back work .but it is hard when your husband work all the time.

[kirsten1]

Jul. 20, 2007 at 10:28 AM    I am a SAHM by choice...it is the hardset job I 've ever had..I really should go back to work, we really could use the money...but my kids love me being at home & told me thay don't want me going back to work. Said they didn't need anything. See they are the best because I have stayed home with them. IMO