My warped sense of humor....

[jess237]

since no one enjoyed my Mommy Wars original, here's a funny email that was passed on to me that cracked me up on a few of em....ENJOY!!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2.. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It (I love that one!)

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cro ss a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka .

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?! The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack!

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

[heyiheardthat]

Jul. 24, 2007 at 6:34 PM

I like #4 too. 

And number 6... BAH HA HA HA HA!!!

I'm gonna try to find a way to sneak cornholes and tube tops into my journal I'm writing.  It's more horrendous album covers.  Heheheheheheh.... 

[jessemo6]

Jul. 24, 2007 at 6:37 PM My husband has told me number 19 before...you are so funny girl!!

[jjnaaucoin]

Jul. 24, 2007 at 6:39 PM

Dear Jess,

      This has to be the stupidest thing you have EVER posted and unfortunately the first two made my ass laugh the hardest...like I haven't heard them a millions times. Oh girl you try to hard sometimes...we love you for being yourself....no more internet jokes. WOW I am still giggling...I am an idiot. LOL

                                              Sincerely ,

                                                                      Amy

[hotrod]

Jul. 24, 2007 at 8:20 PM I had to come see your warped sense...unfortunately I had to read the very first one over and over and finally got it when I said it outloud!  How pitiful is that??  But I got the rest :P  Very funny...thanks for the laugh!! 

[brown6pack]

Jul. 25, 2007 at 5:52 PM

Very Funny! I think I have recieved this before, maybe many times? lol

Have a great summer. One of my kids is already in school and the other doesn't start until August 20th..... Of course the boys go back August 6th....

[momtocam]

Jul. 25, 2007 at 10:13 PM You crack me up.  LOL!! :))