Worried about my 2 & 1/2 yr old daughter. Need Opinions on What to Do.

[Fluffy0106]

  Sometimes I wonder how I got to where I am. How in the world did I fall for my ex-husband and why couldn't I meet Larry b/4 my Ex? Granted if I had met Larry b/4 my Ex I wouldn't have my little angel Kara. Divorce is hard on the kids and I worry about Kara and her well being. She had a very unusual reaction the other day while with her dad.

Here's the story. 

I saw my Ex for the first time face to face since Oct of last year on Sunday. Kara was with him, his girlfriend, and his parents. They were at one of his dads rental houses that just became empty changing the locks. I live down the road from that house and I was on my way to the store. His dad flagged me down to stop, so I did. He told me that he needed to give me the keys to this house just in case the people who used to live there needed something that they forgot. (I'm good friends with the people who moved out.) Well... I got out of the car and walked up to the porch. Out walks my Ex with Kara. Kara screams MOMMY! and comes running up to me. I picked her up and kissed her then when to put her down. Kara looked at me funny and put her arms out for me to pick her back up. This is unusual for Kara, she loves to walk around and HATES when Mommy holds her. I picked her up again and this time I held her. I Talked to my Ex and his family and was as nice as I could be to him. What was weird was there was not any tension between us like I thought there would be. He did seem very nervous like he was afraid I was gonna tell a dirty little secret of his to his new girlfriend. After our little talk I decided it was time to go. So I told them good bye, kissed Kara and gave her to my Ex. The moment I went to walk to the car she let out a scream and started crying like crazy. She broke free from my Ex and ran to me wanting me to take her with me. I would have loved to have brought her on home with me but they still had till 6 PM with her. I tried to tell her she was gonna come home later and that her visit with her dad and grandparents wasn't over yet. She didn't get it and started to cry and grabbed my leg holding on for dear life. I picked her up and gave her back to her dad & gave her another kiss good bye. I got in the car. i was crying as I left b/c she was screaming and crying and thrashing around yelling MOMMY! WAIT! I wanted to take her with me soo badly but I didn't even have the car seat in the car at that moment b/c I had the baby swing I let a friend borrow in the car. It broke my heart to hear her cry like that for me. I am sure that it hurt my Ex's feeling but honestly I don't really care. He was gone for 10 months only seeing her once during that time. No wonder she wants mommy. I have been there her whole life taking care of her. I am worried about her. I mean she used to be excited to go with Grandma and Grandpa to see her dad but now she doesn't wanna go. I even asked her b/4 she left if she wanted to go see her dad and grandparents & she told me NO! Do you think that something happened while she was there and she is scared to go back? She is soo happy at home with me and Larry. I just wonder. I wish i could help her through this but i don't know whats bothering her. I don't talk bad about my Ex at all and I have no clue why she doesn't wanna go to their house. She hasn't come back with any bumps or bruises or anything like that. Grandma takes good care of her and I know that for a fact. (my ex and his girlfriend live with his parents) I just don't know. *sighs* What do ya'll think?

Thanks in advance.

Rachel 

[ladyinthejeep]

Jul. 31, 2007 at 11:58 AM Myabe she just misses mommy on those visits. If it continues every time she goes then maybe I would sit down with your ex and talk to him. But I bet its just she wants to be with mommy. :)

[DeannaR4]

Aug. 2, 2007 at 8:52 AM I think she just wanted mommy too.  You know at that age they can be soo moody and there reactions can just be over the top, and little girls can be a little dramatic.  But, she might not be used to her dad yet.  Since it has been so long since she has seen him, she might not know how to act with him.  He might be trying to give her daddy loves,(good hugs and kisses) like it was just yesterday when he saw her, but, she might not know what to do!  From what is sounds like, she is being taking care of with them, but maybe he should go a little slower.  Or maybe he might not know how to act with her!  If it does continue, maybe a talk between you and him should happen.  Get that co-parent relationship going!  Sounds like you handled it very well!