Worst Day of My Life- May 19, 2006
- August 4, 2007 at 12:38 AM by momtojason
- 11 Comment(s)
- 387 Total Views
Friday morning we were awakened with a phone call at about 5am from the coroner’s office. They had found Jason’s body. I knew right away that it was suicide. The coroner said that he had put a note on the door “I have killed myself, call 911, thank you”. The neighbor had found the note and called 911. She also said that he had a gas mask hooked up to some plastic pipes. She said she had never seen anything like it. They had to break down his door and they left the door closed and nailed shut.
We spent the next hour calling family to let them know what happened. I remember going into Stacy’s room to tell her and her screaming “No!” Stacy even tried to go to work that day and they sent her home.
We went downtown to his apartment to make sure we got out all of his expensive music equipment. We found his laptop computer with his suicide note on the screen. Randy Hellewell met us over at Jason’s apartment and was a wonderful help getting all the equipment out and over to our house.
We went over to the coroner’s office to get Jason’s personal items that were on him. We got his keys, wallet, cards, belt buckle etc. We needed the keys so we could get Jason’s truck home with us. Next stop was Price Funeral Home. We picked out caskets, funeral date and signed contracts.
When we got home I just went outside and started walking and crying… I ended up at my visiting teachers house, Troy Knight. I needed a hug. What a day! We are not supposed to bury our children!!!
Pam
- Written by momtojason on August 4, 2007 at 12:38 AM
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Comments:
having experienced something too similar I can't help but feel for you. Your story brings me to tears as I feel the terrible pain that you feel. To lose a child is the worse pain in life, I wish I were dead also, but I am forced to stay here in this awful pain.
I wish you strengh.
God bless you - your story is so close to mine - but my son did survive his attempt, only because his brother found him in time. March 18, 2002 is the date I have to live with - if you ever feel like talking, I am here...
Hugs,
TeenerB
Pam,As you know I had my own morning in hell.I know so well your feelings of heart break.My precious son passed away 1 month after Jason.We have to stay strong for our remaining family.God bless you.
I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSSES, MY MOM DIED 12/06 SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. THE NIGHT BEFORE SHE PAST WE TALKED ON THE PHONE UNTIL 2 OR 3 A.M. IN THE MORNING AFTER REARRANGING HER LIVING ROOM THAT DAY. THE NEXT MORNING 9A.M. I GOT THE CALL IT WAS TRUELY THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE BUT SHE LIVED A VERY HARD LIFE FILLED WITH ABUSE AND DRAMA WITH 16 CHILDREN OF HER ON. SHE WAS THE CLUE THAT KEEP OUR FAMILY TOGETHER NOW THE CLUE IS GONE AND MY FAMILY IS DESTROIED AND WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THE ONLY THING THAT GETS ME THROUGH THE DAY AND HELP ME TO NOT BE SO ANGRY WITH GOD IS KNOWING HOW MUCH SHE SUFFERED. I TELL MYSELF THAT IS SHE STAYED HERE WITH ME THEN THAT MEAN MORE PAIN FOR HER EVERYDAY BUT HERE BEING SET FREE FROM THIS CRUEL WORLD THAT SHE SUFFERED IN EACH DAY THEN I'M BEING SELFISH WANTING GOD TO LEAVE HER FOR ME. I DON'T NO IF THIS MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY I NO HOW TO GO DAY TO DAY WITHOUT HER. I ADMIRE YOU AND ANY OF THE OTHERS THAT CAN BUILD UP OTHERS FROM YOUR STRENGHT AND LOSS. I PRAY ONE DAY I GET THEIR I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO BUT PLEASE PRAY MY STRENGHT THROUGH THESE TIME.
KISSESS AND HUGS TOO YOU
Hi. I don't know you. I just happened to see your thought bubble today.
I am so very, very sorry to learn of the loss of your son. It is such a heartbreaking thing to read about, but infinitely more heartbreaking for you to live with, I'm sure.
My mother-in-law is going through something similar. My brother-in-law passed away almost a year ago. He was 27, or would have been the next week. We buried him on his birthday. He did not commit suicide exactly, but he drank himself to death. He died from a combination of liver and kidney failure brought on by cirrhosis. We were "fortunate" only in the fact that he was in the hospital for three months before he passed and we were able to say our goodbyes.
I am glad you have the church to help you through (I am also a member, though I am currently inactive) and it is wonderful that you have found scrapbooking to be such good therapy. My husband created a video slideshow of pictures of his brother to help him deal with the loss, and it was very helpful.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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kre4christ Aug. 4, 2007 at 12:39 AM