and it's just so intimidating. all those "before baby" pages kill me. i can't really say anything. like "mommy graduated from..." and "after school, she decided to....." then the "mommy's n daddy's story" page. i can't lie. we were stupid kids who met at school and accidentally made a baby. our relationship is far from perfect. it wasn't love at first sight. there was no wedding. we know we're not meant to be. and we can hardly respect eachother. and i just hate that "when we found out about the pregnancy" page. it has lines for what we thought and how we felt and celebrated. i have no idea what to write. i can't let my daughter know that when i saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test at jack in the box during lunch break i cried my eyes out, went crazy on my boyfriend's car, and started looking for abortion clinics. i felt awful and full of regret. i can't write that, but that's how it went. we don't have any family pastimes or vacation memories or traditions or careers. this book is supposed to be a family keepsake, but i have nothing good to start filling it with and it makes me feel so bad.
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