My Story I feel like I have to share this!

[kaysha]

I read a post eariler today about when to tell your child they are adopted. It really got me to thinking about my life. I feel the need to share my painful story.

My mother and Father met in highschool. They thought that they were in love, and got married right after gradutaion. Two months later, mom was pregnant with me. Six months later, they divorced. Mom had a hard time rasing me alone and did the only thing she could think of. She slept with men for money. She ran her "business" out of our home. I had a different "uncle" every day. I knew what was going on, because mom didn't hide it. Everyone in town knew her and knew what she did.

Mom told me for years that my dad didn't want me and that's why he left. I have heard that he came to visit me when I was a week old. He was told to leave, and to never come back. He left without putting up a fight, and never came back.

When I was a little older, I was staying with my aunt, and I have heard that my dad called her and asked if he could come see me. My aunt was not my aunt at the time. She was just a nice lady in town. She tells me that she told him yes, he could come visit with me. She says that she let him and his wife (yes, he remarried), took me out for the day, and that he cried when he had to bring me back.

Of course, I was to young to remember any of that. I just know what I have been told.

Fast forward several years, having no contact at all with this man. I'm in second grade, and I am visiting my grandparents at their shop. In walks a man and a woman through the back door. I had no memory of these people. It was weird that they came in from the back, because only family did that. I looked up and I knew who this man was. He ignored me, and was holding a whispered conversation with my grandfather. The woman was his wife (yep, the same wife from before). She knew who I was, and she held a conversation with me. We talked about school and petty stuff like that. When they left, I looked at my grandparents and said, "That was my dad and his wife, wasn't it?" They said yes it was.

Fast forward until I am in 10th grade. I kept thinking about my dad, and I searched his name on the internet. I found his name, address, and phone number within ten minutes. I called him, but he didn't have an answering machine, so I hung up. Every time I called (I called from school every single time), there was no answer.

Fast forward until I am 16. I moved in with my aunt (from before, but by now she's been my aunt for a long long time. Her brother married my mom, had two kids, and divorced. Mom married another man, and is with him still.) My aunt and uncle knew how I wanted to find my dad. I was sitting in the living room one evening, watching TV when I heard my uncle on the phone. That was nothing unusuall. What grabbed my attention is what he said. "Hello, This is _________ do you remember my wife and I?" "Good. Well, we have someone living with us who would love to meet you." I turned down the TV and I heard the person on the other end of the phone yelling and swearing at my uncle. My uncle said, "okay, I am sorry for taking up your time." I knew who he called, without ever being told.

Fast forward until I am 18 and working. I was working the cash register at a fast food place. Lunch rush was just finished, and I was restocking the supplies I needed. I saw someone come to the counter, and I went to take the order. Standing in front of me, is my dad and his wife (same woman). He looked at me, told his wife, "You know what I want to eat" and went to get a table. His wife looked at me, said hi, and asked how I was doing. I asked her why he wouldn't talk to me, and she just shrugged her shoulders. I took the order, and watched them out of the corner of my eye the entire time they were there.

I was 19 when I got married, and I sent my dad and his wife an invite. They lived FIVE minutes away. They didn't come. I had my baby shower for my daughter 8 months later. I sent an invite, and again they didn't come. I had my daughter, sent them a birth announcement, and again, nothing. Same thing when I got pregnant with my son.

They live ten minutes away from me know, and he refuses to talk to me. I have came to terms with the very painful fact that my father won't talk to me at all. I just want to talk to him just to find out about my family. I want to know names, and diesease's. That's all. But it will never happen.

If any of you know Clarence Barney Mercer and his wife Theresa, please tell them that I just want to know family history. They live in Kersey, Colorado. I know that it's a long shot asking you ladies, but maybe someone on here knows, or is related to them.

[penguinsrock]

Aug. 21, 2007 at 9:58 AM Wow hun. That has to be hard. Thanks for sharing.

[Emjay]

Aug. 21, 2007 at 12:02 PM ((((Kaysha))))