unappreciated!

[Hutchie58]

I don't understand why my husband can't say nice things to me!  I spend all day cleaning the house today after we had our party on Saturday, does he say a word?  NO!  I have lost close to 40 lbs since having our second child, does he notice? NO!  When I wore a dress to our wedding, did he say anything about it?  He said he didn't like the dress.  I am the type of person who is comfortable in jeans.  He has seen me wear a dress three times in almost four years.  I feel so unappreciated by him.  Makes me just want to not even try for him.  I get compliments from my friends and family but nothing from him, unless he wants something (sex).  He tries to act like he has it so bad around his friends.  I make sure that he has something to eat, something to drink and all the other little ammenities that he apparently takes for granted.  He complains that we don't have sex enough.  By the time that he gets home from work, I have had two kids on my hip all day.  Even after he gets home, they want mommy to do everything for them.  So I really don't get a break from being mommy until they go to bed.  By then, I just don't want to be touched at all.  I just want to go to bed and sleep.  I tried explaining that to him once, but he doesn't understand.  It's kinda like when you first get into a relationship where the other person is really clingy.  I don't mind cuddling, I actually love to cuddle.  The only time that he wants to cuddle with me is if he thinks we are going to have sex, and then it is all about him and what he wants.   I feel frustrated and unappreciated!

[Ajsmommy52206]

Aug. 21, 2007 at 10:24 PM

I went through the not wanting to be touched part.  I guy doesnt understand that u have to "pre heat" the oven b4 anything can cook... feeling appreciated and saying that he doesnt like ur dress is NOT pre heating an oven... So what i would do besides slapping upside the damn head, is KNOW im lookin sexy for when he gets home. Take the time to do it and when u are having sex, MAKE it be about you.  If he doesnt want to wat u out then i wouldnt suck his dick.  Same goes for around the house.  If he wants to act like a dick then little by little id start "forgetting" the little things u do for him like, oh yea, having supper on the table, when he gets home and sooner or later he'll have to realize what he is losing by taking u for granted.  I would blow his mind tho.... get urself all sexied up and make sure u make it all about you!  Good luck sweetie :)

[olijam1018]

Aug. 22, 2007 at 3:17 PM

I've been in the same situation and what I've learned is that guys have no clue what's going on. I think that some guys just aren't sure when it's okay to seek attention again. We change when we have kids and they don't know how to act toward us anymore. I would have a conversation with him and let him know how you're feeling and your needs are. As well as asking him how he's feeling and what his needs are. Till death do us part is a long time and it's never going to be easy, but it will be easier if you two are on the same page most of the time. 

Just talk to him and let him know how your feeling and don't give up, it usually takes men a couple of two...three...times to get it through their thick skulls.

[Taurus25]

Aug. 23, 2007 at 3:37 AM well what an ass if i do say myself!!!! sounds to me that he needs to wake up and relise that he has a faithful women in his life that needs attention!!!  My husband isn't the gratest of being thankful for what i do for him. It has taken alot of talking to get him to relise that I need to be thankd. I think guys forget that we need that . Especially when we are stay at home moms and we don't have our bosses or coworkers around telling us we have done a good job. I would just keep reminding him that you need to be noticed. It sounds like you guys are just having a bump in the road. And we have all had that! Communicate how you feel thats the best policy. good luck girly