Last summer, I was completely jealous of my then soon-to-be sister-in-law. Afterall, I was pregnant, which means I was huge. I can't be that cute little tiny thing with a little perfectly round bump. I had to have the cankles, the oily skin, and yes, even my nose gained weight. She, on the other hand, was her model self, skinny, tan and not bloated at all. While she was lying out by the pool, skimpy bikini made even more skimpy by modifying it to lose those tan lines, margarita or Corona in hand, I was hiding out in the pool, no alcoholic beverage in hand, so my cottage cheese thighs could hide under water and my feet would get a rest. I had given her all of my pre-baby clothes since I knew they would no longer fit me. Especially after the baby was born. And, well, let's face it. I was stretching it by even wearing the clothes in the first place. They looked much better on her tiny frame than my chunky pre-baby body anyways. But then I would see her everyday, looking way better in my old clothes than I ever did. Why did it have to be so unfair? Picture after picture, she looked ever so smaller next to my constantly growing body.
The day I went to the hospital to have my baby girl, guess what? She found out she was pregnant. I know I am a brat, but part of me felt like Monica, when Rachel was 'stealing her thunder.' Now, during her pregnancy, she is of course super skinny and just barely showing, even though she is already 6 months (I, on the other hand had to wear maternity clothes about the second I found out I was pregnant due to my redistributed weight). Not a piece of maternity clothing to be found anywhere in her closet. And yet, all I ever hear about is 'oh my god, I'm so fat). First of all, you're pregnant, and second of all, if one doesn't know you're pregnant, they still wouldn't think you were fat.
Last night, we were over at an aunt's house. Well, she is getting ready to move into this house and I am so jealous. First off, they will be renting said house from the aunt. My husband and I own our house (ok, fine, it's just a townhouse, but we still own it). So it's not like they are going to own it. But my house is always so cramped (it's 1300 square feet, but I just have too much stuff) and I have me, Gianna, the little bro and my huge dog. Not to mention my husband when he gets back. It's not the greatest neighborhood around. I need a yard. I need a garage. I need more space! She is moving into the house that has a 2-car garage, a pool, a yard, plenty of room. All of this in a nice neighborhood (a neighborhood that I wanted to move to when we bought our house . . . . ).
I hate it. I shouldn't be so jealous. I should be happy for them. But I'm not. I'm pissed. I feel like I deserve the bigger house. I wish I didn't feel like this, but it is so hard to not. Am I the only one that gets this ugly green with envy complex and just can't shake it????
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