It's Been a While

[Mamma-Mia]

Well - like usual it's been a while since my last post.  i'm like that with all my journals.  But i guess it doesnt matter much as long as i write when i need to - not that i always do that either.  i've got some peace and quiet tonight so here i am.

the last week has been a jumble of emotions.  maybe because of PMS, i dont know.  there are times when i am completely content and feel this inner calm. but then there are the times when everything and everyone annoys me and i am a crabby mood.  but yesterday and today, it's been a completely depressing feeling.  i am soooo unhappy about the way i look.  if i could juss get rid of my belly fat, i would be happy - i dont even need to lose any weight, i just want the fat gone from one place.  it was so hard trying on dresses.  i wasnt happy with anything and i must have tried on a hundred dresses.  i just want my old body back.  luckily i dont have a problem with my feet and to make myself feel better i am now a proud owner of 4 new pairs of shoes. 

that doesnt help my finding something to wear to a bridal shower tomorrow.  i've never been to one so i have no clue what's going to happen.  the girl and pretty much all her friends are in what i consider the well off category where as i am in the broke category.  i dont even know if i will fit in with anyone there.  i am nervous because i dont get to go to these kind of things.  i dont get out much at all.  picking an outfit is my biggest challenge whenever i go out.  it's so hard to find something i look good in besides pajama bottoms and a tshirt.  it is so unfair that moms wind up letting themselfves go after having kids. i see why it happens.  it's just too damn hard to stay primped every day. there should be someone out there helping us out - making hair and makeup easier so that it's not such a chore.

it's getting late now and as always, i am exhausted.  i've got a long day ahead of me tomrrow. so off to bed i go.  goodnight.