OrganizedMom answers the New WIfe question

[Organizedmom]

My ex- husband and I have one child together and we have had difficulties in the past getting along, but had began to come together in agreement until he married his new wife.
She wants to call all the shots and get involved in matters that I don't believe are any of her concern.  How do I nicely get her to understand that I had a child with him not her?

 

 

My answer: 

oh this is soo hard! My biggest fear is my ex getting involved seriously with someone.

I know that when it happens the emotions will possibly override my desire to put the children's best interests first.  I will want to be like- listen these are my kids.

Have you seen the movie step mom :http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120686/

Regardless of how we feel if the children's dad has married someone new that person is by default going to be a VERY influential person in your children's life. and how you develop your relationship with that person will help create a healthy family unit (she is now a part of your family unit) or unhealthy one.

I would foster a relationship with her, get to know her and then consider asking her if she would be willing to attend either some family counselling or parenting classes with you. With or without her husband(your ex).

Stress to her that you have the children's best interests at heart- admit that having a new mom involved is not easy and you are'nt sure how to include her so you'd like to get to know her and figure it out together.

Remember you will always be MOM first. You don't have to go around singing it to everyone- just know in your heart that you are and that she knows in hers that she isn't- which is hard as well.