Keeping love alive...saying 'I love you" more than he says it to me....

[gilsgal]

Before I leave for the weekend, I wanted to share something with all of you in hopes of hearing if this is or has ever happened to you.

I am in a very lovely 16 year marriage with a younger man.  For the most part, it has been very good, even very wonderful and blissful at times.  Perhaps I really should not complain at all, all things considered, but one thing does bother me.

Many times I have found that I am the one who says "I love you" more than my man does.  Sometimes he doesn't even say it during a full day, and only after I have looked in his eyes and say it will he say it back.  This has been happening for a number of years now.  Yes, the man works hard for me, keeps me in a nice  place and provides well, so maybe I should leave well enough alone?

Well perhaps, but I'll say this.  I am a women with lots of emotions and lots of feelings.  Even though I may not work outside of the house anymore, I feel that I have my work cut out for me every hour at home....there is always lots to do.  And I think you ladies know what I mean....to keep a house with kids and your man happy is no easy feat.   And at the end of the day, I am very ready to just jump right into bed and call it a night, but even than, lots of times my work still isn't done (need I say more)?

All I ask, is that along with everything else my guy does for me, I only wish for 3 little words to remind me that words speak just as loud as actions do....at least in my book they do.  I suppose it lends to it being a little ego booster as well. 

One other note....I know that this bothers my man as well.  Many times he ask me why it's so easy for me to say "I love you" so quickly than it is for him to say it?   I try to explain to him just what I finished telling you all, and he says that it must be something wrong with him.....

What say you all?   Am I pushing it too much or????

Continuing in my neverending quest for truth, happiness and a sweeter, more forfilling marriage.....

I bid you all peace.

Thanks for reading...  

[CEastep]

Aug. 31, 2007 at 11:32 AM I would prefer to never "hear" I love you, IF he SHOWED me he loves me. To me, actions speak louder than words.  :)

[stace673]

Aug. 31, 2007 at 11:38 AM

 thank you for your post, it has made me think.  I am in a similar situation but the opposite.  My husband tells me all the time, every day that he loves me and I rarely if ever say it first.  To be honest it starts to feel like just words when he says them all the time.  I probably should talk to him about it and see how he feels about the fact that he almost always is the one to say it first.  In fact I can't remember the last time I was the first one to say it.  I do make an effort to do little things that let him know I love him dearly ie.. he mentions that he needs something and I don't say anything but when he gets home from work he has new socks, or if I see something while shopping that he will enjoy or like I just get it for him.   Maybe I should make more of an effort to tell him how I feel. hmmmm thanks for making me think.

[hillbillywoman2]

Aug. 31, 2007 at 11:46 AM

Well sweetie I am also married to a man who is younger than me by 2yrs and 5mths and i say i love you alot more than he does. But as it has been explained to me by Cosmo. Men tend to be more visual and action wise than words and feelings. I know that my man loves me by the actions he takes. Don't worry you have been married for a long time most couples don't make it past the 2 or 7 year mark according to research. So don't sweat it girl. As long as he wants to be there with you and near you than I am sure he loves you. You saying I love you is the reassurance he need and the things you do for him. Reassure you man that you know he loves you and you might be able to get him to say it more. And if he doesn't then maybe he just isn't the type of man to show his soft side. Mine definitely isn't but i know he loves me and that he wants to be with me till the end of time. Take it easy girl. I know how you feel and can relate. But trust assure everything is alright.

 

[fattkayjmama]

Sep. 1, 2007 at 6:10 PM

Hey, Dee, you know that you and I go back along way, and I know you and your man very well.  I just think that he is so busy and so stressed with everyday life that he just does not even think about it.  I think that maybe you should just talk to him and express your feelings.  We know how our husbands are, and we see the never ending love that they give to us.  Just pray and believe, we know that God hears all.  Love ya girlfriend!!!

 

 

[misscarol78]

Sep. 3, 2007 at 6:03 PM Well maybe he did not grow up in a house hearing those words alot. It could have been understood that they loved him. I really did not grow up in my home with my parents telling me that, but now my sisters and brother tell each other that religiously now , but at first it did sound funny ,but after awhile it come  natural.

[jellybelly54]

Sep. 8, 2007 at 9:53 AM I agree with stace673 - at some point the 3 words become meaningless when they're said too often.  Actions do speak louder than words.  If you still want him to say he loves you, make a little game out of it and kiss him (or whatever you enjoy) everytime he says it - set some ground rules and have fun trying to get him into the habit - they say that if you do something for 30 days, it becomes habit.  Good luck.

[TravelAngelMom]

Sep. 8, 2007 at 11:55 PM

Ya know, for the most part, men don't share their emotions as we do. I have yet to find one that does. Having said that, my suggestion is that you give it to God and ask Him to soften His heart and let the feelings that you feel, allow him to feel them and show them to you. People just don't live up to our expections most of the time, but, sharing with him to how you feel when he says those three little words, just might be the ticket. God Bless....love you bunches.

Angelia