Sorry to all my friends...

[I_love_my_mom]

I have not been on here much at all. I have been going threw some crap in my marriage.

My husband and I have been together since high school. He was my first. I was his what ever number.

Anyways... We now have really good days or very very bad days. In other words. Divorce days. There is not middle ground. I have been so massive stressed out.

I am not saying I am a perfect person and know that I am only mortal as well.. But..

I am or was until about 2 months ago.. A stay at home mother and wife... I would have my house spotless and everything done. i would have dinner ready and clothes washed.

My husband works 3 days a week 12 hr shifts sat-mon. All the other days he is doing what he wants. I have no say in what he can and can't do.

Heaven forbid I ask for help because the whole world of his comes to a crashing halt to throw a fit. He has everything at his finger tips.

I have his dinner ready for him when he gets off work. But no he does not come home until he is ready and drunk... He only drinks on sat and mon. Not a big deal.. Anyways

He has told me that I don't make him want to love me more each day. The stuff I do around the house to make him happy does not mean a thing and will not make him love me more...

WHAT THE HELL!!!!

He has told me he wants to separate... Okay I said. But it will be a divorce. There is no separation. Because I am not going to be his fall back on when his what ever drama does not work out... Not saying there is another female....

Just I feel that it is make it work and he give 50% or we divorce. Because I don't have it in me anymore to keep giving the 90% and let him still kick me when I am down.

The little bit of energy I say to help myself off the floor I give to him to try to make him happy and not always so bitter and angry...


So when he threatens me with divorce I no longer cry or beg to make it work. I ask him when and were... He gets angry and walks away.

Any suggestions...I have done all I believe I could and can do. I hate divorce but I can no longer stand by and be his slave and be verbally abused.....


PLEASE HELP>>>>>I am so out of ideas!!!

Tags: divorce, help, marriage, separation

Add A Comment

[madismom]

Sep. 4, 2007 at 4:58 PM I don't know what to say...it sounds really toxic and it can't be good for you or the children.  Even if you don't argue in front of them they can sense that something is wrong and all the stress that is around the house isn't good for anyone.  Yuck I'm sorry that you are going through this, just keep in mind that you are a wonderful person and that "YOU" do not deserve this.  It sucks when you love someone and this happens..(been there done that) it seems to be the hardest to let go of...I don't know why..There are plenty of women out there that will say.."Get the Hell Out"  and don't understand why you haven't already..but I do..My situation was the hardest relationship to end and we didn't have children nor were we married..but he had brought me down so low and I thought that I couldn't possibly find anyone better and that sometimes I deserved the way that he was treating me...Well I'm happy to say that I was very wrong and it was the best decision that I had ever made.  It is some kind of weird co-dependency that goes on in relationships like this..but "YOU" are a good person and "YOU" Deserve so much more..especially Happiness.  If you need an ear..anytime..I'm here.

[JaneDoeMomma]

Sep. 6, 2007 at 3:02 PM I think you have the right idea...you shouldn't put up with any sort of abbuse...being in a marriage is about falling in love over and over again (with the same person), and it's not one sided...it sounds like he's being demanding of you, but offering nothing in return.  If he knows you're serious about not being is "plan b" then maybe he'll snap out of it and treat you the way you deserve.  Otherwise...maybe it's time for you to move on...good luck.