Well let me start by saying I have kept alot of things a secret because I don't want people to know how bad my life is but here it goes.. Me and my bf have been together for 11years some good alot bad but I love him and I also think I feel the need to have a man in my life because my daddy passed away when I was 9. Well me and Darren got along for a long time when we started dating mainly because we did the same things party..party.. drink  smoke you know things that kids do well when I had Lil Darren I stopped and he did not and really everything got worse he started using cocaine (mind u I never knew I lived with my mom) he never told me because he knew how I felt about that stuff well I will say when Lil darren was 2 he started to use crack and we all know how that stuff is I found out about a year and half ago but still couldn't bring myself to leave don't ask me why I think because I do love him and I thought I could change him...yeah  right that never happens. Wll I will skip ahead to now we moved to Columbus from Dayton because he swore that he just needs to get away from Dayton and if we move to Columbus he would be done well I think it took about 2 weeks and he found people here and ever since things have been bad I am sick I can't sleep He is always drinking and yelling and my son is so not used to that kinda life like I said I lived with my mom till he was 4 he never saw this kinda stuff. So we sat down last night and he blames me for everything and I have finally came to realize I can find someone so much better and not to be afraid me and my son will be o.k. and are life will be much better without him.

 

Thanks to all my sisters who listens I love you all and I will rise form this.

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Comments:

Mamac...
Sep. 13, 2007 at 12:30 PM Listen, do everything you can for (1) You, first, you need to take care of yourself...because....of (2) your little unit.  If you don't take care of yourself, who is going to take care of your angel??? I will pray for you.....both...Man, time has a wierd way of helping us overcome if we choose wisely....

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beach...
Sep. 13, 2007 at 12:45 PM I can't claim to know what you are going through. But my mom is raising a relatives 3 girls for the past 12 years because there mom is in a similar situation.  But she chose the man over her children.  She(the  girls mother ) also has 2 more children that she is raising in almost similar environment as yours with that man.  She's afraid of being alone and he tells her she's nothing without him. She receives disability now and he controls the money. Please get out for your sons sake.  You have a beautiful son to think about.  I have seen what that kind of environment doe's  to kids.  The two girls that still live with there mom (only because the man shes with is there father) are dysfunctional .  They argue fight and you name it in front of the kids.

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tjmom...
Sep. 13, 2007 at 1:45 PM Aww girl I'm sorry but it def. sounds like your better off without him! You and your son can make it till you find a great man! I'm here if you need to talk!

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homefiar
Sep. 19, 2007 at 2:07 PM

Oh, Honey...I'm so sorry.  I know that desire to "change him," and it's heartbreaking when you come to the place where you finally realize it just can't be done by you.  For me though, it wasn't drug abuse, it was his anger.  I finally had to just take care of me and my kids...I couldn't fix him.  But he didn't like the idea of losing us...so he decided to get some help.  That doesn't always happen, I know...but I'm praying for you and your son to find some peace, and for a wonderful new fresh start.  Be blessed - -
Lisa

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wendy...
Sep. 28, 2007 at 7:29 AM

I dont know you very well, but I do want to say you can find better for you and your son!  I am so glad you realized this becaue a lot of women dont,  and the first step starts there.  He cant even own up to the responsibility of ruining his own life.  You didnt shove the coke in his face or the crack pipe in his mouth so screw that! 

Women are so strong and you will be able to find the strength you need to take care of oyur son without him!

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jndawn04
Nov. 6, 2007 at 1:58 PM yes u will. he is kinda scary :O) lol, i hope things are ok....and lil' D doesn't have to listen to his bs anymore!!! you'll do fine w/o him!

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BigMa...
Mar. 18, 2008 at 12:37 AM Wow, honey, I feel for you. I know how you feel. Been there, done that. Do what is in your heart and what is best for your son! We are all here to lean on.

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