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My Mom Is A Bully
- Sep 14, 2007 at 10:24 AM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (286) Everyone can see this journal post.
Hubby has the day off today, so he's watching Alyssa for me so I can work a normal 8-hour day for once instead of a 10-12 hour day.
We're taking a little road trip this weekend, and will be spending a day at one of the theme parks with my mom and her friend. I should be excited about it, but I'm actually dreading it a bit. You see, my mom has all the best intentions, but she has this way of trying to take over Alyssa's care when she's around, and makes me feel like I'm a stupid and incompetent fool who can't even feed my own child.
Case in point, last week, we took my mom and father-in-law out to dinner for grandparents' day. The waiter at the restaurant brought us a basket of bread, so I grabbed a piece, and started breaking it up to feed Alyssa. I put several pieces in front of Alyssa, which she scarfed down, and began breaking up more pieces for her. My mom, who saw that Alyssa was finishing up the last piece of bread that I just gave her, started shoving the bread that SHE was breaking up at me. "Here! Here! Give her this! She's hungry!"
Now, keep in mind that what she was all but throwing at me was the EXACT SAME bread from the exact same loaf that I was trying to give my daughter. But apparently, MY selected piece wasn't as good as HER selected piece. Anyway, I ignored her, and continued giving Alyssa the bites I broke up for her.
Then, when our meals arrived, I let Alyssa try some of my mashed potatoes, which she didn't really care for and spit out. My mother then looks like she's trying to hurdle the table in order to feed Alyssa the mashed potatoes from HER plate. WHAT?!?
In the nicest way I could, I told my mom "I already GAVE her potatoes and she didn't like them."
"Yeah," replied my mom, "but mine has more gravy on it!"
ARGH! It's soooo annoying! I try to tell her that I'M Alyssa's mommy and I want to raise her MY way, but then she starts up with how she's just trying to help and I need not be so "snippy" guilt trip.
So a day at a theme park is not an exciting prospect for me. I can hear it now:
"Laura, does she need a new diaper?"
"Laura, does she have enough sunscreen on?"
"She's hungry."
"She's tired and needs a nap."
"She shouldn't play with that."
"Don't let her go there."
"Does she need her juice?"
"She's too hot. Don't let her get overheated."
"Let her have that. She wants to play with it."
Ugh! I just want to scream "I AM NOT EIGHT YEARS OLD!! I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY OWN CHILD! STOP SMOTHERING THE BOTH OF US! STOP TRYING TO TAKE OVER! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! STOP CONTRADICTING ME!!"
Comments:
this is the exact reason I avoid my parents at all cost. They try to run my life and my kids. They didnt do a great job with me you see, so there's no way in hell I would let them tell me anything about raising my kids.
I havent seen my dad in over a year, if my mom didnt live in florida, that would be the reason I dont see her either.
Good luck.. and if you want to keep the peace, just let her push the baby and take care of her and let her know that you feel that she always has her best intention at heart and you want to walk with your husband. lol.. good luck tho
That is apain. you could always tell her mom i know you mean well but pleaselet totake care of my daughter. i will ask when i need help. thanks for caring though. also that if she does not back off u won't be able to spend time with her
just keep venting here and it will help
.
I felt the same way with my own Mom and my 11 year old son for the first 5 years. It really hurt and was hard on our relationship.
In '01 my daughter was born (right before 9-11.) I had a completely different outlook. That day changed everyone. Life is too precious. I realized that just because my Mom drove me crazy, didn't mean that I to let it effect the way that my children were being raised. I knew that she only saw them once or twice a month, I saw them everyday.
Your Mom knows that your daughter needs you, don't worry. One day my son came home from school and was really upset about something that happened on the bus. My Mom said, "Come here Sweetie, sit on my lap and tell me what happened." He looked at her like she was a stranger and came right to me for some reassurance. She didn't say a thing. Later on, she complimented me (in her own strange way) of being such a good Mom. That meant the world to me.
This may not be the answer that you wanted. Someday, my Mom won't be here. I want to make the best of our relationship now. Also, I want to show my own daughter now, how important it is for a daughter to love her Mom when she's a grown-up, even if she drives her crazy.
Hey Lady jag,
Haven't talked to you lately. I found out that I have breast cancer today. will have to go through Chemo/ Radiation/ more surgery. sorry to hear your moms getting to you but know what? my mom's 200 miles away in a nursing home and I wish I could just have a hug from her. and we have NEVER seen eye to eye . Amazing what a different prospective people get they are told they have cancer. The things that always bugged you about someone seem to go away. my mom did the same with me I was 19 when I had my son. We fought and fought for 20 years. but.............. TODAY I looked at her in a different way because now she has to see me go through something that will hurt her. I guess it's a good thing she is in Tampa and I am here so she won't have to seen me with no hair and sick. Sorry If this sounds harsh.I don't mean it that way. Hope she gives you some space you are doing fine with your sweet baby!!! Good luck ~ Carol Ps. Say a prayer for me 
Ladyjag,
My children are sixteen and seventeen now and my mother still does that kind of stuff. The best advice that I can give....Say a pray for your mother and ask the BVM to help you see your mother through the loving eyes of a mother. When your with your mother let her tend to Alyssa, consider it a small break and enjoy it. Your mother will feel like she's doing something and you get a well deserved break!
Life's short and If you ask your mother I'm sure she's not doing it to intentionally hurt you! How much worse would it be if she didn't want to spend time with you and the grand-baby at all...bottom line, things could be worse!
Peace be with you....and your mother ! LOL!
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- Mom2theboy1994
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