Does Life Ever Slow Down?

[cattworld]

So since my last post, things have been absolutely amazing with my husband and I. I know a lot of people think that other people can't change, but he seriously has. He has been a totally different husband and an even better father. I thought this would only last a short time, but it has been over 2 months and things have changed but they are just getting better and better. I honestly feel like we are more inlove than we ever have been and he has been so amazing with our boys. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be able to deal with everything else life has brought on lately.

To start everything off, our oldest son, Trenten, was diagnosed with PDD in August. Once the doctor runs more tests, we will have a more accurate diagnosis of the autism and how severe it is. Even though we had a feeling that he had it for quite some time, hearing the diagnosis from a doctor just about killed me. I find myself worrying about how other people will treat him and what they will say to him. I'm going to be the mom that probably gets in trouble the first time someone says something mean or treats him differently because I won't be able to handle it in a reasonable way. Trenten started therapy 2 weeks ago and has been doing absolutely amazing. We are still trying to get the rest of the early intervention set up so we can help him in every way possible. He has started walking and is doing things that just blow me away. I couldn't be more proud of him! He's absolutely amazing.

I started full-time school in August after taking the spring semester off. I am so overwhelmed with that even though I am taking less classes than before. I am taking 3 online classes and one night campus class and it is kicking my butt to say the least. I can't start homework until after the kids are in bed and I end up staying up until at least midnight every night then waking up periodically with the kids. I feel like at times I am a horrible mom because I have no energy anymore and am so exhausted all the time. Everytime I think about quitting school, my husband tells me I am doing a great job with our kids, school, and being a wife. He tells me to keep pursuing my dreams and that it will all be worth it in the future. As much as I want to believe that, sometimes I feel like giving up.

So to top everything off, this past Monday and Tuesday were crazy. My sister had her 3rd baby, a little boy, at 11:22pm on Monday. I haven't gotten to see him other than through pics. but he was so big and is absolutely adorable. His name is Kalell (after superman) and he was 8lbs. 1oz. and 22 1/2 inches long. I can't wait to go and see him and his older sisters who are 2 and 3. I miss all of them so much and probably won't be able to see them for another week. So that was the good part of Monday. Tuesday morning, 3 hours after my nephew was born, my dad's mom passed away. Even though I was not close with her, I am worried about my dad because he was. I'm doing everything I can to help him, but a lot of times I don't know what to do. He spent most of Tuesday over here which was fine until Trenten's therapist came and he completely asked the craziest questions that didn't even relate to what the therapist and I were discussing or doing with Trenten. I had a hard time not saying anything to him after the therapist left but I didn't want to cause him anymore trouble than he already is going through. To top everything off, he called his sister and told her that family could stay at my house when they came to town for the funeral. I about died because I don't know very much of his family and I do not want to put my boys in an uncomfortable situation. Trenten freaks when he is around new people and it takes him a long time to warm up to people. Again I didn't say anything, but I did call him the next day and ask if anyone was staying at my house. Thankfully no one is but his brother is coming to meet the kids for the first time tonight. I'm fine with that, but I have had people at my house almost every night this week and we have my husband's uncle who I adore coming to see us this weekend. So that's that I guess. I can't wait for a break from everything.

I just had to vent because I am extremely stressed and overwhelmed right now. Oh and I seriously think I failed a huge anatomy test last night that I have been studying for a lot. That just topped everything off. If it wasn't for my husband, kids, family, and friends supporting me and encouraging me through everything, I don't know what I would do. They have all been amazing and no I have not contemplated doing anything crazy at all. I have too much to live for and overall an amazing life. It's just a little too chaotic right now. Hopefully things will calm down soon before I get to the point of exhaustion where I just sleep constantly and get even less done. Thanks for listening!