12 years

[ckmunson]

I am glad that yesterday is over. It was one of those days when I had something in the back of my mind that I couldn't stop thinking about. Grace had a crabby day, and was restless too. I am going to call Grandma today, I was slightly thankful that she had surgery yesterday so I didn't have to make the call. I somehow thought that it'd be better if I just waited until today. However, since I've been looking at the phone for the past hour I have figured that it doesn't matter if I call today or if I called yesterday. When I call and say "Hello Grandma" she is going to say "Its been 12 years and one day now." and we'll cry. "I miss him too Grandma." will be about all I'll ever say.

Its so strange that while 12 years have passed, and all that passes with them - boyfriends, weddings, babies, birthdays, utter joy and despair - this monumental marker of profound sadness is as fresh as it was in 1995. Its just something we carry with us.

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