Mother In Law's

[aidensmom80]

Does anyone have a problem mother in law like i do? I seriously can't stand her and I have way to many stories for only being married for a year!

[Candi_112204]

Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:41 PM I was engaged and if I would have gotten married to him I swear to you I would have had the mother in law from hell. This lady would say horrible things about me when I was sitting next to hear. She told his entire family when I was pregnant with my son that I was a whore and the baby wasnt her sons. She brought baby pictures of my fiance at the time to the hospital the day my son was born and held the pictures up to my son and said "oh I guess they do look alike". They were identical! This lady is crazy! She was one of the reasons we split up and didnt get married and now she will call me out of the blue sometimes just to tell me she does love me and she misses me and wishes me and her son would have gotten married. She needs meds bad! LOL

[judybant]

Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:47 PM

Ok, so first question... do you love the person that is your husband? Who raised him to BE that person? His MOM, right? So if she raised a wonderful, kind, caring man, then SHE can't be ALL bad! Honestly, if you stop and think about it, our mother-in-laws are the women who trained our husbands to be what they are. I don't know all your stories, and I don't need to know all of them. But I strongly suggest that you take some time to find things about your MIL that aren't irritating to you, and focus on those, and FEED those things, or it's just going to get worse. Chances are, she's just crazy in love with her son, and wants to make sure that he's as well cared for by YOU as he was by HER... think about it.

I started out with a BIG negative sign on me. I was a single mom, had never been married to the kid's father, which was a HUGE blemish on me, in my MIL's eyes, AND HE had been SO badly hurt by the TWO bitches he'd been married to before, his Mom was in "momma bear" mode when she met me. You could SEE the scepticism on her face the first time she met me. I introduced myself to her, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "I just want to thank you." she got flustered, and asked why? and I said, "Al is THE most loving, kind, and considerate man I have ever met, and that HAS to be because of the way he was raised, and I just want to thank you for being the kind of mom that made sure that her boys know how to be a PARTNER in a relationship, rather than just a PART of a relationship."

We've had disagreements, but once you realize that she's looking at the situation from a "momma bear" standpoint, just as YOU will, one day... you learn to accept the differences of opinion.

Give it a shot. It'll make your life a MUCH happier one in the long run.

[justbeverly]

Sep. 21, 2007 at 1:08 PM

I used to have a problem MIL but now we get along just fine. She isnt my best friend but I have learned that she is the mother of my husband. Now that I am a mother and a MIL it is easier for me to understand her better. She worries that her son is not happy , or is not being cared for(like I worry about my own kids) and I have learned that she at first didnt know me she unlike my husband didnt have the time to get to know me and love me. That takes time for both of us. Daughters have no problem with their own mothers because they trust them, unlike the mother in law that they dont know. So I believe that there needs to be some time for both the DIL and the MIL to learn to like and trust the other one with the people they love. The problem to me is that they both love the same people her son her husband, her grandchildren, her children. But because you both love the same people you should both be able to sit down and say I love my son  and you love your husband lets agree even if we dont like each other to do the best thing for them (husband and grandchildren) now. Later with time you will both learn to start to like each other hopefully and who knows maybe it can turn into something more. If not then you gave your husband and grandchildren a wonderful gift the gift of love the most presious gift of all. It may not be easy to take her at first I know it wasnt for me. It wasnt easy to deal with the MIL,SIL or the DIL but it has been so worth it for the MIL,SIL.. My husband is so much happier since we get along with his family now. My husband was willing to give up his family for me as I am sure yours is for you. But he is so much happier that I didnt make him choose. We are all happier. It just took time and I am so glad that I gave it that time and just held my temper. Believe me at times it wasnt easy. I have also learned that when she gives her opinion it is just her opinion that I am the mother and wife and I will do it my way anyway.I have also learned that if I share the same people we love with her that life is better. I have learned as long as she sees us happy she is easier to get along with. My husband and I have an agreement that he doesnt talk to her about any of our problems. Because everyone has a problem once in awhile and we will work it out eventually. So dont bring the MIL into it.

Now my DIL is another thing. I think she just needs some time and I acted really stuipid at first(I have a post you can read another update lesson learned) and did things I shouldnt have because my son was so young. And the feelings that most women feel when they first get married where intensified so I have to give her some time I guess. But 3 years really! Enough is enough.

Oh well good luck and I  hope nothing I have said has upset you. But if you want someone that is just on your side there is a group called MIL problems that might help better than I did.

Good Luck.

[aidensmom80]

Sep. 21, 2007 at 4:42 PM Actually my husbands grandmother did most of the raising and she is a wonderful person, my mother in law def has issues. She actually had one of my husbands psycho ex girlfriends call me and say my husband was cheating on me, and I saw my MIL's emails to this girl plotting this so It was a lie..my bro in law hacked into her email and showed them to me.....she is nuts I'm tellin ya

(Original Poster)