Adoption

[dragongoddess69]

Is there anyone out there who is adopted or has adopted? If so let me first tell you that I was adopted when I was a baby, and I liked my family. But it is very natural to want to know where you come from. Some adopted people don't care or don't want to know, but for me, I HAD to know. I felt like I didn't fit in. I was the only red-head in the WHOLE entire family. My mom was always sooo angry with me, (I found out later that she was bi-polar and she was drinking) I could never do anything right, and I was very much abused. Please, I can't stress enough please don't be angry with your child if they have questions. It isn't meant to hurt you, or to make you angry, and we don't love you any less. I would LOVE to have 2 moms. But my adopted mom died at a young age. She was 53 when she died. And I thank the Gods and Goddesses and everyone that she told me my biological parents names. I found my mom, Michelle, and we have been in touch ever since. Also, I found my half sister. I didn't even knew she existed. My adopted mom didn't either, and Michelle was waiting to tell me when she felt the time was right for her. But I found my sister, and unfortunately our relationship is extremely rocky because she had scizoeffective disorder, which is schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder combined, and her mother tripped and fell out when she found out that I decided to have my mom in my life. Now, to begin with, it's really none of her buisness what I do, cuz she's not my mom. But she thinks that Michelle will try to step in and try to control or take control of my sister's life, and Michelle doesn't want that at all. But WHATEVER!!!.  All I would like for people who read this and either may be adopted or have adopted is to please be patient and understanding. I know that it doesn't happen this way for ebveryone, and good things don't happen over night. It takes time. So, I hope this helps some of you out there who might be struggling with a decision, or with somethibng like this. :)

[4mine6his]

Sep. 25, 2007 at 7:45 PM My father adopted me when I was a little girl.  I was 4 when my mom and dad got married.  When I was 18 my husband found my biological father and we went to see him after my first daughter was born.  I heard many things about him and some of them were true.  I am 37 and he died 2 years ago of a massive stroke and I only saw him 3 times.  It is very hard when you are adopted and have two families.  I keep in contact with that part of my family as much as I can.  My adopted dad thought I did need him any more when I started talking to my biological father, he finally got it threw his head that he will ALWAYS be my daddy!!!!

[Cand]

Oct. 3, 2007 at 1:49 PM

My WHOLE LIFE revolves around my daughter. We adopted her at birth. I was in the delivery room. I was there where the nurses began to panic because they couldnt get her to respond because the birthmother had done so many drugs while she was pregnant. I dealt with the screaming withdrawls she had. I am the one who deals with her sensory issues on a day to day basis and it will kill me when she wants to go meet the woman who caused all of this.

  I understand the natural curiosity.I know that theres a good chance she may not feel complete not knowing her biological family but I can still dread when that day comes. I will always support her but inside I just pray she see's her BM for what she really is rather than some glorified version.

 

[maddiesmom107]

Nov. 10, 2007 at 11:10 PM Thank you for writing this. We just finalized our adoption of our little girl (we've had her since birth as well), it is an open adoption and I just want to do whatever is right for her throughout her life. I wish I knew more people who were adopted, so I could better understand the things she may feel as she grows up.

[DaraLeigh]

Apr. 29, 2008 at 11:49 AM

One of my brothers was adopted.  He was 5 when he came to live with us, two weeks before my 4th birthday.  He had been seriously abused by his birth parents, and had been abused in two foster homes.  When he came to live with us at first as a foster child, he had just learned to walk and talk.  His social worker believed this indicated that he was mentally disabled.  It turns out his delays were because of profound neglect.  In our home, he thrived.  We were told he would never run, take normal classes, and his prospects for a good job were limited.  They were right about one thing; he never took normal classes.  He entered the gifted program in 3rd grade.  He graduated High School as the Valedictorian of our class, and was the Captain for the Cross Country team.  He graduated from College with a degree in Mechanical Engineering.

 During his years in College, he did locate his biological father.  Since he was not an infant when he was adopted, and we had to go through the whole court process of having his biological's rights terminated,  their identity had always been known to us.  He didn't introduce himself to his biological father, he just found out where he was.  For him, that was quite enough.  He's never had an interest in locating his biological mother.  The majority of the physical abuse he suffered as a baby was at her hands.