Banned from Walmart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.


After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Walmart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Walmart:

       Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clock in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5 August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. Decemeber 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"



Add A Comment


Oct. 1, 2007 at 10:41 PM LOL, thanks for the laugh!

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Oct. 1, 2007 at 10:46 PM

This cracked me up so much...I needed a good laugh .ty. I had to show my husband he thought it was funny. My 4 year old son is sitting right next to me and ask me why I was laughing....I really tried to explain but he didnt think its funny. But he is laughing at sponge bob now.

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Oct. 1, 2007 at 10:50 PM I am commenting and laughing out loud.  My husband is asking me, "What is so funny?".  Thanks for sharing this post.  :oD

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Oct. 2, 2007 at 10:44 AM Too cute!  Good thing my guy likes Walmart or I would have to be worried.

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Oct. 3, 2007 at 3:48 AM Lol I'm book marking this one to show my bf too funny!!!!!

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Oct. 3, 2007 at 8:27 AM One way or another, (most) men will convince us they do NOT like to shop!  LOL! 

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Oct. 3, 2007 at 11:24 AM Thanks for the laugh!

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Oct. 6, 2007 at 8:20 AM Thanks I was drinking my morning coffee , ready to start my day and this as just made it a great day. I will be thinking and laughing all day.

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