I really need some encouragment and advice...

[Whit32542]

Okay so here is the background. Please somebody give me some advice as to what to do. I am in tears now because I feel like a horrible mother. Molly is 8 months old. I breastfed her for 5 months but had to stop because of her weight gain. It wasn't enough so I had to supplement but pumping wasn't enough to keep my supply up so I switched to the bottle. Well at 8 months she is still only 14 pounds. We get her weight checked every week. Every week now for 5 FREAKING months. She is VERY active which contributes to the lack of weight but it isn't the whole problem. Plus, she throws up ALOT. For the last 2 weeks it has been every day twice a day. I am soooo  tired of cleaning up throw up! In the car seat, the crib, the house PERIOD! We have gotten barium swallows done (just fine) she goes to a speech therapist every week since she has some slight synchronization problems with swallowing. She doesn't eat very much normal food. Some yogurt and stage 3 foods once or twice a day. And not much of it. She HATES it. Still don't know what causes her to throw up. She is on Reflux medicine. The max dosage her weight can have even. She does not seem to have any type of allergy. She is now on soy formula. But it STILL happens. Next month she is going to an Endocrinologist to have everything checked to see if some type of diagnosis can be reached. I am so stressed out about this. The lady who scheduled the appointment referred to her weight as Failure to Thrive. I HATE that phrase I do not consider her failure to thrive. She was crawling at 5 months and she is walking now. All by herself. She is very smart and quick. Many people have told me she seems very serene and mature. And she is. But i still hate to even consider it to be failure to thrive. Please somebody tell me something encouraging. I am at the end of my rope, have tied a knot to hold on to, but sometimes i feel like letting go.

[tori07]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 3:07 PM Hang in there sweetie. I have 2 month twins, so I know about the end of the rope! It's never going to be easy. But look at the little face? It's worth it isn't it?

[mommy2twisters]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 3:29 PM

Lara was diagnosed as Failure to Thrive, too!  She is now healthy, Happy and FIVE!  She is tall for her age and weighs in at 44 pounds!  She is GREAT!

I hope this is encouraging for you!  Hang in there!  I hope the doc can give you some answers next week!  HUGS!

[mandalin003]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 3:30 PM

Ohh honey don't feel bad.  I know it's so hard not to, but it's nothing you're doing wrong.  You've done everything in your power to try to figure out what's going on.  Sometimes it takes the doctors a little extra digging and a little more time and effort to figure out a diagnosis.  And don't take the "failure to thrive" term to heart.  All it is is just a medical term.  It's not set in stone.  And from what you said, it sounds like your daughter is thriving quite well.  She sounds like a bright little girl, already walking!  That's a huge accomplishment.  I'm having a hard enough time chasing Isaiah's crawling, I can't imagine him walking already!

Maybe the endocrinologist will have more insight.  I know it's nervewracking now, but you just keep doing what you're doing- being a supportive, loving mom to Molly.  You might feel like you are at the end of your rope, but keep hanging on.  You have lots of people to give you a hand to help you do that, me included!  Anytime you want to talk, even just vent, lay it all out! 

[AgentBrez]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 5:14 PM

try not to take that term harshly. i cant imagine how tough that must be, but its just a medical term. like you said, it sounds like she is doing fine! i have a friend whose 1 yr is smaller than Clare, who is 9 months. some things she does that Clare doesn't and some things she doesnt do that Clare does. try not to compare to other babies since they are all different. i will keep you in my prayers, esp for strength and patience to deal with all of this. Blessings and hugs!

[Imma...]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 5:51 PM

You are NOT a horrible mom!!  She sounds like a real sweetie!!  What our society does is "labels" it is sad, but that it the way it is!! They like "normal" not below normal and not above normal...yet  how do we get normal - one size fits all when everyone one of us is genetically different.

I'd never heard that term before so I googled and this is a site I looked at.  http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/failure_thrive.html  That is a horrible term that should be abolished...but take heart and know that there is concern that weight gain to a certain degree can cause unneeded stress on the rest of her body.  Have you noticed it if is certain foods she doesn't like?  How about feeding more in a "grazing" type manner verses a sit down and "eat" type manner. 

I will be praying for you, your daugther and WISDOM for the doctors!!  Don't hesistate to change drs. or better yet educate yourself ... googling is AMAZING!  When you go in and have some knowledge it can help give you a gauge to the drs. ability and it will help you get some information you maybe hadn't thought of.

Ugh...so sorry about that hassle of "weight checks" for 5 months!!  Draining no doubt!!

Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing how things go.

[foxymama21]

Oct. 4, 2007 at 7:16 PM My daughter was failure to thirve until now.  She just picked up 5 lbs. in two months. If they can't figure out what is wrong call the mayo clinic. They are good at special stuff like this.  The barium could also be affecting her digestive system that is what was wrong with my dd. Hang in their.  You are an awsome mom to deal with all this for her.  I know the failure to thrive killed me so i can imagine how you feel.  It will get better. Hang in their.  If you need anything you have your friends here.  Also the weight check I know dd has been doing the for 2 months also.  GOOD LUCK!!!

[jesshorn]

Oct. 10, 2007 at 3:44 PM

One of my friends oldest son was born with some flap in his throat not fulled developed, pretty much it was still attached in places that it wasn't supposed to be so her son couldn't get food down and just throw it all back up. The Doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him for months then finally she went in there and told them that she wasn't leaving till they found out what was wrong with her son.

[meanmomma]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 9:45 PM

AWWW HONEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER WEIGHT SO MUCH. IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE MAY HAVE REFLUX OR JUST A WEAK STOMACH. SOME LITTLE GIRLS ARE JUST TINY , IF SHE WASN'T HEALTHY SHE WOULD NOT BE AS ACTIVE OR HAPPY AS YOU DESCRIBED. SHE WILL CATCH UP SOMEDAY.

[MCCHonaker214]

Oct. 12, 2007 at 10:00 AM

When Carli was born, she was 8 pounnds 1 ounce. When she dropped weight (which is normal after birth), she was down to 7 pounds 4 ounces. Then 7 pounds 1 ounce. All within in a week. That huge weight drop was VERY concerning to the Drs. She was constantly throwing up and not gaining weight. She finally went back to 7 pounds 4 ounces and was released from the hospital. She maintained 7/4 but the Drs. wanted to see a difference. She wasn't eating well and when she did, she would throw up. The Drs. put her on Allimentum (made by Similac) and she gained weight! She was 7 pounds 11 ounces at her 3 month appointment (we too had to go every week just for weight). When she broke 8 pounds, she was almost 4 months. We were VERY concerned for her. But at 21 months old, she weighs 24 pound 3 ounces. Some children are just smaller too.

As others have said, if she wasn't healthy, she would have collic and unhappy. She may have reflux or her little stomach may be trying to handle the formula. Check with your Dr. about Allimentum, it may make a world of difference when it comes to the upset tummy/throwing up.

Good luck and keep me posted :-)

[MeanMommy77]

Nov. 2, 2007 at 1:08 AM I don not have any experience with the BS term failure to thrive problem, but are you giving her any cereal?  When my daughter was born she slept for 10 hours at a time.  There was NO waking her up to eat every two hours.  When she did wake up to eat it wasn't enough so I had to start putting cereal in her bottles when she was about 3 weeks.  If I hadn['t she probably would have been called the same thing.  I know it is not the same situation, but cereal does put weight on.  Her throwing up could be lack of food in her stomach and the cereal might help settle it.  Think about it, when you feel sick to the stomach and drink don't you get sick too.  It might be the same thing.  But like I said, I do not have much experience with this.  It is just a thought.  I hope it helps a little.  You are doing the best you can.  And remember doctors are called "Practicing Ddoctors",.which inturn means they are practicing their entire career.