At court, I was again advised to get an attorney.  So, after several more court visits I was advised not to let her take the children.  SO, visitation had to be set up.  I was leary of her taking them because of her erradic behavior.  She them turned on me and said I was trying to steal her children.  I wasn't.  I was just supposed to be her scapegoat every other week when she decided she no longer wanted to be a mother.  So, our relationship deteriorated to the point where she only called me to cuss me out and tell me I was taking her kids.

In November and December 2002, she was allowed an unsupervised visit with the boys.  When she returned them from the 2nd visit, I noticed there was a change in Damon.  He was very withdrawn from me and didn't want me touching him.  This was odd, but not as odd as the next couple of days.

I got a call from daycare the next day, that Damon had his hands in a girl's panties.  He was very withdrawn and offered no explaination.  Then, the next day, he had his head in the same girl's crotch.  He still was very withdrawn from me.  However, he told my boyfriend that he did not want to go to his birth mother's house anymore, because she did bad things to him.  He went on to tell my boyfriend and my father that she had shown him her private parts.  Then gave him a bath, and proceeded to mutually masterbate herself and him.  He was 4 years old.

My father and I called the social worker immediatly and started having him evaluated by professionals.  The eventually determined he had been a victim of sexual abuse by an unknown perpetrator.  He would not disclose to the female therapist who had done this to him.

We eventually went back to court, I confronted her.  Her only response was, "Yeah right, whatever."  However, the attorney for the state did hear me out and believed me.  With my attorney bill continuously mounting, I was granted permenent guardianship.

The judge also ordered that both birth parents (the father was incarcirated throughout this ordeal) have no contact with the children until a therapist for the children and parents agreed it would be in the best intrest of the children until they are 18 years old.

 I thought this ruling would pave the way towards finalizing the adoption.  I was wrong.  Four years later, in 2007, and several thousand dollars in attorney fees later, the adoption still has not been finalized.  The parents are still given rights and they will not sign off.  Child support has been ordered 4 years ago, and I have never recv'd a dime!  I have even tried to skirt the adoption and have their names changed from Damon and Damion.  No luck!  The birth father objects to everything we bring up in court. Although he is still in prison, we are unable to change their names or do anything legal w/o the parent's permission.

So, for all of you that always wondered what my adoption story is.  That is it.  My boys are mine, although I have never been allowed to legally adopt them.  I have permenent guardianship with a no contact order until they turn 18.  But, they will never have the names I wish for them, and I get no help from the state, or their birth parents.

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Comments:

jmomm...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 8:59 PM Thank you, for sharing your story...I am sure it was very difficult to sit down and remember everything that has led up to this very moment in your life but I am  also sure, it has proven to be a very cleansing exercise..Damon and Damion are lucky that someone, such as yourself, cared enough...

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jungl...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 9:12 PM What an amazing story! You're a very special lady. You're all very blessed to have each other. I wish you smooth sailing with your boys from here on out.  Good luck to you all!

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Pooob...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 9:19 PM wow... I hope one day you get the closure that you need.  its crazy that the state didnt look in the favor of those children and terminate their parents rights!!!!!   i will have you and your family in my thoughts..

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queen...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 9:52 PM Our Court system is such a mess and i don't see it getting better anytime soon.

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SB7
Oct. 4, 2007 at 9:56 PM

I thank GOD that Damon and Damion are with someone who loves them...their mother.  You are more than a guardian you deserve the title of "MOTHER"!   I hope an pray that those boys will get the justice that they deserve because their birth parents deserve to have their rights taken away from them.  Thanks for sharing your story it's very inspirational!  GOD bless you and your family! 

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MILF_...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 10:06 PM This whole story had me in tears.  You are truly an angel sent from heaven and everything is in and will be always in divine order for you!!  May God continue to bless you in soo many ways possible.  You are truely a role model to me!

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Whois...
Oct. 4, 2007 at 11:42 PM

Oh my.  I am just so glad you were brought into their lives.  And although things aren't complete in the system, they know who loves them and takes good care of them.  I pray that things will get right for you on the legal side.  You are a true blessing. 

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kymgbry
Oct. 5, 2007 at 1:12 AM

Prior to getting married I would always say that I would not mind  adopting  a child because I know there are so many children especially special little AA babies that need  a good home.I don't know if I could have gone through some of the things you have and I commend you for that.Teaching school you see so many kids being shuffled around the system and your heart goes out to them I thank God for moms like you and pray that more will come. You are a better mom than me by taking on two handsome boys that you did not birth.You and your family will be in my prayers.

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MyBab...
Oct. 5, 2007 at 10:48 AM What an amazing story.  You are a wonderful woman and God is going to bless you abundantly.  I have had my own issues with the state and adoption, so I know some of what you are going through.  The system really needs to be evaluated.  They say they are looking out for the best interest of the child but it doesn't seem that way.  Stay Blessed.  I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

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Pinky830
Oct. 5, 2007 at 3:04 PM

GIRL I AM AT WORKING CRYING B/C YOUR STORY IS SO AMAZING!  GOD PUT YOU IN THOE BOYS LIFE FOR A REASON AND THAT REASON IS YOU HAVE A HEART OF PURE GOLD.  I PRAY THAT GO WILL CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

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