At court, I was again advised to get an attorney.  So, after several more court visits I was advised not to let her take the children.  SO, visitation had to be set up.  I was leary of her taking them because of her erradic behavior.  She them turned on me and said I was trying to steal her children.  I wasn't.  I was just supposed to be her scapegoat every other week when she decided she no longer wanted to be a mother.  So, our relationship deteriorated to the point where she only called me to cuss me out and tell me I was taking her kids.

In November and December 2002, she was allowed an unsupervised visit with the boys.  When she returned them from the 2nd visit, I noticed there was a change in Damon.  He was very withdrawn from me and didn't want me touching him.  This was odd, but not as odd as the next couple of days.

I got a call from daycare the next day, that Damon had his hands in a girl's panties.  He was very withdrawn and offered no explaination.  Then, the next day, he had his head in the same girl's crotch.  He still was very withdrawn from me.  However, he told my boyfriend that he did not want to go to his birth mother's house anymore, because she did bad things to him.  He went on to tell my boyfriend and my father that she had shown him her private parts.  Then gave him a bath, and proceeded to mutually masterbate herself and him.  He was 4 years old.

My father and I called the social worker immediatly and started having him evaluated by professionals.  The eventually determined he had been a victim of sexual abuse by an unknown perpetrator.  He would not disclose to the female therapist who had done this to him.

We eventually went back to court, I confronted her.  Her only response was, "Yeah right, whatever."  However, the attorney for the state did hear me out and believed me.  With my attorney bill continuously mounting, I was granted permenent guardianship.

The judge also ordered that both birth parents (the father was incarcirated throughout this ordeal) have no contact with the children until a therapist for the children and parents agreed it would be in the best intrest of the children until they are 18 years old.

 I thought this ruling would pave the way towards finalizing the adoption.  I was wrong.  Four years later, in 2007, and several thousand dollars in attorney fees later, the adoption still has not been finalized.  The parents are still given rights and they will not sign off.  Child support has been ordered 4 years ago, and I have never recv'd a dime!  I have even tried to skirt the adoption and have their names changed from Damon and Damion.  No luck!  The birth father objects to everything we bring up in court. Although he is still in prison, we are unable to change their names or do anything legal w/o the parent's permission.

So, for all of you that always wondered what my adoption story is.  That is it.  My boys are mine, although I have never been allowed to legally adopt them.  I have permenent guardianship with a no contact order until they turn 18.  But, they will never have the names I wish for them, and I get no help from the state, or their birth parents.

Tags: adoption

Add A Comment