Nothing Changes

[twogirlsmomma]

So, he was the one that made the decision that I needed to leave, and now here we are less than two weeks later and he's asking me to come back. I just don't think I am ready to go there. Don't get me wrong- when I married him I knew I wanted it to be for life, but I've gone back twice and we see how it's turned out (I am here, aren't I?).

I am tired of when he wants me to come home him telling me I am beautiful and this that and the other. It was a year in May and when I thought back I wondered how my life had changed, and it hadn't- except for the fact that I was pregnant. I want to get a vehicle (that's a BIG thing for me right now), and prove myself. I need to be whole for him, our girls, and me.

I just want to do it right this time so that we don't ever have to go through this again. And my idea of the right way and his idea are totally different. I think we should live apart for a while and go to counciling. We could also go on dates and do things as a family. When I felt a little more comfortable with living together, then we would take that step.

He said that I should move me and the girls back in our house and he would go live with his parents, or could live in the house but sleep in a seperate room. The thing of it is, that would still give him a sense of power that I am not ready to give him.

The thought is great, but I know how it has happened before- the first time I left we were suppose to live together but sleep in seperate rooms... never happened. And we did start counciling that time, only for him to tell me a month later we didn't need it. I need him to show some more commitment this time before I just say "Okay, I'll move back in". Our children CANNOT keep going through this.

As much as I hate to admit this because we have been through this so many times I am not sure I even really want to go back...I love him but it seems like nothing changes. HELP!

[Casslou1]

Oct. 6, 2007 at 11:32 PM

Im sorry that you and your girls are going through this! I really can't give you any advice except that you know what is best for you and your babies so do what your heart tells you to do. I hope everything works out with your marriage but make sure that you do everything at your own pace and make sure that you are comfortable with your decisions. Please let me know if you ever need to talk!

[freepeacelove]

Nov. 3, 2007 at 3:02 AM

I like your post on belly fat so I was checking to see if you lived nearby.  Nope, I'm in CA but born and raised TN.  One thing they don't teach us down there is how to take care of ourselves.  You do what you need to do to get things done.  If he doesn't get it together it doesn't really change anything.  You'll be amazed at what you can do when our men can't seem to do what they're supposed to do.  I don't know TN law but I know in CA, the men are the ones who move out and still pay out the butt.  You are an example to those girls, live how you would want them to live.  You are in my prayers.

jess