Never say "This day can't get any worse!"!!!!!!!

[Paula07]

This is sorta long but if you take a moment please read it and let me know. Thanks!! HUGS!!!! 

 

I can not believe that one person can have so much bad luck, karma, mojo, WHATEVER! No matter what it is, I don't have any! I am so glad that this damn day is over. I woke up in a good mood, my son decided that he had to sleep in my bed because he needed a good nite sleep. I gave in, always do. Any ways I realized that I didn't hear the kittens cry at all last night. YEAH! I was expecting the two little fur balls to be up whining until the wee hours. Didn't happen, Bonus. Well my son was up and laughing and playing with his two little friends, he even made it to school on time. Another Bonus! Well then it all went to hell.

It went something like this:

Called to see if I still can get the grant to go back to school~only to be told, no, they never enrolled you in that program, now you have to go to another city and try there.

Ok, so I call my social worker~if I don't report to this job training on Monday the 18th ALL of my benefits are cancelled. UGH! Its not worth my time to get up 3hrs before my son has to be at school, take him to  a sitter than can also take him to school. to then drive way to far to go to someplace that is a joke, all they are going to tell me is "Sorry you don't have that many marketable job skills-go work at wal-mart!" Then spend all day running around wasting the gas that I don't have. To get home 2 hours after my son gets home from school, after I find someone who can get him from school and watch him until I can get home.

The kitten scared me and I dropped ashed on my new couch, (This really doesn't bother me I didn't want the damn thing he ordered it before he walked out. Who spends $1,000 on a couch and then walks out less than 2 months later.)

I thought I was going to faint so I decided to eat and apple, my tooth is infected so I can bite very well. So I tried to get a knife down, And sliced the side of my finger. Just great!

Well after I get that taken care of the soon to be ex starts texting me. We were going to talk a few days ago but he has had a cold, so he says. I mentioned what about Halloween? He then informs me that its his holiday! And that I won't be seeing him then. Wrong!!!!!!! I have not missed one Halloween since birth, not going to start now. He went on and on and on. He will give me Halloween if I give up the fourt of july. I mean I will still be able to watch fireworks with him some time right?

Then he tells me that (oh I went to meet him for coffee) he has a total of 7 weeks of next year, he's asking for 3 weeks in all. I'm not going to budge on this. He and I will be in front of a mediator before I let him get everything that he wants. He is driving me nuts, he told me that he writes down everything that he does and buys for Zach, when I drop him off when he picks him up, or should I say Zach walks over there. I mean come on. He was NEVER there for him, all of sudden he becomes a Disney Dad. You know the type who is always there and loving. To bad before he moved out all he did was sleep on his days off.

I was on the way to the pet store with Zac and I knew that we were going to go near the library, so I asked him if he wanted to swing in a get a book or two on who to take care of kittens. He was thrilled, the library is a place that he and I go to alot. Well I totally forget today was the day they teach children to play chess. He wants to learn so bad, so I went looking for the books while he went to play a "quick" game. Somewhere between looking for his books and mine I sat my wallet down, I swore I put it in the front puoch of my coat, when I was checking out I noticed that it was gone. POOF! Some where in the library so one picked upmy wallet and took off. It wasn't turned in when I went back up there and checked ALL the garbage cans in and around the library, and the parking structure. So now everything is gone. Driver's license, All my insurance cards ( I don't even know how to get hold of them I think I lost my paperwork) I mean come on its the library for goodness sakes.

SO here I am freaking out and my son my sweet and wonderful son breaks out and starts crying he is mad at himself for not paying attention to me. I'm sure he overheard me say more than a few times that I am so stupid. Finally I could see that he was really having a bad time and I tried to explain it to him. I told him that I wasn't upset about what I lost I told him that I was mad at myself for not paying attention to things better that's all. He seemed to dig it and that was that. Then his dad calls................

And its almost 9pm and Zach is sitting there in tears he wants to see his daddy. Its been like 6 days. So I gave in and said fine. I hate that he has him on school nights but what am I supposed to do when I look into those beautiful blue eyes and see that he misses him so much, and his father wants to see him. All be it for all the wrong reasons now, thats what I think and Im sticking to it.

He leaves and I cry, and cry, and then I just flat out ball my eyes out. All I wanted to do was take a shower and snuggle with my son and let him know that there isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for him........ But he was gone and I am all alone, again.

I'm going to lose my phone, my cable and my internet. Yeah..................................

Still don't have a job, and this state SUCKS................................

Then I read an entire book in less then 3 hours, James Patterson's You've been Warned. Seriously twisted book! I was walking by the fridge and we have one of those whiteboards on it. And he wrote on it a few weeks ago  "I Love my MOMMY!" so I wrote below it in really big words  "I love Zachary: Well I noticed that on the bottom, he wrote NOT STUPID!

Does he think that he is stupid? Wow I just thought about that, he is so smart and I tell him that everyday. I think that the more he hears that and the more he achieves the more motivation it gives him. Can't seem to work he's working on a A- this year so far. When he got out of school last year I think he was at a C maybe. They were very worried about him going up a year, but I think we made the right choice.

When I seen those words, I started to cry all over again. And not the bad tears either. That little boy loves me beyond words and he believes in me, and he tells me everyday that I am a real supermom. And now its time I start acting like one!!! Well as soon as I get some sleep, I look like I could scare a toad. And that's saying alot.

Tomorrow.....................................All I have to do is tell that little boy that I love him more than anything and have him hug me and tell me that he loves me. After that I think I could move a mountain. Who knows?

[mammapersinger]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 3:54 AM i have a husband and i am tired of the emotional abuse he says i do it on purpose cause he cant read our e mails and he just wants to scream when he sees me on it this is what i do for part of our living what am i supposed to do act dumb we have been married four years together ten and i have six illnesses four which our deadly but why are men so mean he swung at me tonight

[jen3577]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 7:42 AM Damn and I thought I had a bad day!!! I am not sure what to say, I am just happy that at the end you sounded sooo postive like you said as long as you make your son #1,YOU yourself will be happy, I know it isnt much but GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

[Lb128f]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 10:54 AM I am sorry you are dealing with all this...I do hope things will turn around for you. And, you are right -- today is a new day....you can start fresh and try and get things worked out. Sometimes I think it is best just to "give in" and wait for a new day to begin. When Zac wrote "Not stupid" on the board...I think he was referring to you (not himself) -- remember at the library you called yourself "stupid"...he was just being the loving son you know he is and giving you a pat on the back!! How sweet!!! ;-) Please let us know how things work out!

[woogie]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 3:55 PM

ur little boy is amazing!!!!

and he loves u unconditionally so better strt acting like THE SUPER MOM U ARE!!!!!!!

good luck on everything and remember that one door closes only to oppen a better one

[new_beginning2]

Oct. 11, 2007 at 9:51 PM Crappy days come and go but your children will always love you.  God Bless. ((((HUGS)))

[bawgt1]

Oct. 12, 2007 at 2:23 AM Days like that are the reason God invented HUGGS from our kids and determination.  You may not realize it now but all those bad days are what make us stronger and able to appreciate good days all that much more.