The World Hasn't Stopped- At least not for me

[baby_coconut]

Hello All,

I thought that i should finally get my thoughts out about a particular subject matter. this subject is about women who have been with unappreciative, disrespectful, and abusive (mental,physical,emotional,sexual,etc) men whether it has been a husband, boyfriend or baby daddy...

when i found out that i was pregnant with my daughter i was in an abusive marriage and i was praying that it would turn around. i left my husband and he joined the AirForce and for the most part of pregnancy he was not around so i didnt hae to fight him. well, like so many other women that have sworn to themselves to make their marriages or relationships work so that them and their families or children wont be statistics...i stayed with my husband.

i stayed married for 2 years and everyday that i was with him he would abuse me. i had to deal with all decisions in our home being made by his mama (even down to what my unborn child could have in her nursery!) and inlaws that didnt like me for the lies that his mother had told... i dealt with trying to make it seem as if it were all peaches when it wasnt... can anyone relate...?

well on the day that i delivered, i drove my self to the labor and delivery room while he slept in the passenger seat. i went through 6 hours of labor while he slept through every one in the bed next to me!

when my daughter was 4 mos old i was forced to get a job to get away from his alcoholic, abusive behavior... and i was only 21 years old!... so one day he choked me out and dragged me off of the bed with my daughter in my arms! and that was it for me! i knew that after having served time in the Army that i knew how to kill him and if i valued my life and my child that i needed to get out of there and not look back

i prayed for peace within myself and the next day i shipped all of my things and my daughters things to my grandmother, bought a plane ticket and called a cab and went home.

when i came home everybody (his fam, my fam) tried to get me to go back to him and make it work..but they had not feared this man ike i did and they hadnt gone thru what i had...so i stood my ground...everytime he would call i got upset and i would cry..but then sometimes i hated to be alone and a mommy at the same time becuz i wanted a family and that was stolen from me...i had given this man my heart and he destroyed me... i had to start my life all over...New bank accts, divorce papers, new jobs, start from scratch with school and  praying for the strength to take care of my daughter without her father...

well, i was at the point of no return on the subject of men and i wanted to be alone... the way i saw it, my father hurt me and my husband hurt me..all men were worthless!

BUT, then out of nowhere, my best friend in the world and i were reunited and it was as if we had never lost contact... a few months later my divorce was final...from then i had submitted to the road my heart had chosen and fell in love all over again with my best friend...

9mos later we were married and everyone is like..Wow, you are married again? and what aboiut your ex? what about healing from the wounds?...

well, my answer is The world has not stopped for me becuz of that situation in my past. my ex hasnt seen or provided for his child in over 10mos...my new husband has set in motion to legally adopt my daughter as his own..to her HE is daddy! and the healing part....I thank GOD for deliverance from all of the hurt pain drama fear and flashbacks!! i thank God that he Loved me Thru somebody..that somebody that he had JUST FOR ME!!!

TO ALL OF THE MOTHERS OUT THERE THAT HAVE WENT THRU ABUSE AND GOT OUT OF IT AND HAVE MOVED ON BUT THE PPL YOU KNOW WONT LET YOU FORGET YOUR PAST..FORGET THEM AND BE HAPPY SISTA!

FOR ALL THE MOMMIES THAT ARE STILL IN THE MESS AND CANT GET OUT.,..YOU HAVE TO FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND EVENTHOUGH YOU WANT THE BEST...REMEMBER THIS...90% OF THE 1ST BABY DADDY'S WE DONT STAY WITH AND IF YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM HE DONT LOVE YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN...STOP THE CYCLE AND CONTROL WHAT YOUR KIDS LEARN....THINK, DO YOU WANT YOUR SON TO DO SOMEONES DAUGHTER THAT WAY OR DO YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO ALLOW SOMEBODY TO BEAT ON HER?

YOU CAN GET AWAY CALL THE COPS, PACK YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR KIDS TOGETHER, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO..DONT TAKE WHAT YOU DONT NEED, CALL A FRIEND OR RELATIVE AND GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU...

I WAS THERE AND IT WAS HARD BUT EVEYDAY AFTER I LEFT IT GOT EASIER!

PRAYING FOR YOU ALL,

BABY COCONUT

[kittykat1919]

Oct. 12, 2007 at 1:57 AM Good for you!

[kittykat1919]

Oct. 12, 2007 at 2:00 AM No one should have to deal with that or put up with that crap.  My MIL did and to this day I still think that is why she died.  Not because he did anything but because she tried so hard to make an abusive relationship work in some twisted way.  He body couldn't take it any more.  My husband has been able to break the cycle because of her.