Step by Step Instructions on Proper Be-hind Hygiene
1) Be sure you squeezed out ALL the poo that needs to come out. Bring some reading material like the Bible and take your time. There are some things that should NEVER be rushed or cut short and this is one of them.
2) Shake any big hangers off your butt (or butt hair) before even standing up.
3) Be sure to stand so that you can get a good firm reach and inspect your work. You don't see a mechanic working on the front end of a car engine sitting down do you? NO, he needs to see what the heck he's doing! You may need to do some stretches to loosen up, especially your wiping arm so you can get a good reach. If you still can't reach... well for crying out loud it's time to lose some weight!
5) As long as it's not a ghastly amount of poo on the TP, fold it over and wipe again. Toss into toilet. You will want to flush after another wipe batch or two to prevent plugging it up. It's also less smell pollution for the next bathroom user. As the golden rule goes: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..." (Mathew 7:12). If you're worried about water consumption just take a slightly shorter shower, turn the water off when you brush your teeth or are washing the dishes, etc.
A side note: I understand that in some countries they don't have the flush capabilities that developed countries have. If you are able though...PLEASE, do NOT put your poo stained TP the waste basket!
7) Wipe with wet TP as many times as necessary to remove any remaining residue.
8) Follow up with one last swipe with a smaller dry bundle. You now have a clean butt hole that will not emit an offensive odor.
9) Take a daily bath or shower to scrub and flush out your butt hole with soap and water. Good job! Your fellow man/ woman will be truly glad and your social/business/love life will undoubtedly improve. A little practice in discipline and it will become a very healthy habit. We thank you for reading this site and helping this world to be a more pleasant place, one less stinky butt at a time!
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