new baby

[jenndear]

My cousin had a baby today.  She was not due until 12/25, he had to be delivered by c-section this morning.  He's only 3 pounds 11 ounces.  That is very very small.  But she was already in the hospital when he was born, so that's good.  He's a little older than Aiden was, but not much.  He's a pound heavier though.  I wish I could say that he's going to be fine, but I don't know if he will.  He could die.  It happened to me, and I know it can happen to anyone.  I've been thinking about Aiden alot lately too.  I think about him every single day of course but I've been feeling sad about him more than usual, because it's fall.  He died in November so fall just reminds me of being pregnant with him and all the mistakes I made that night.  Well, the one big mistake, not going to the hospital.  Not calling my dr.  Why was I so stupid?

[justbeverly]

Oct. 21, 2007 at 11:18 PM

Dont blame yourself. I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. With it being fall the time when you lost your baby and with your cousin having her baby there is no wonder you are having such a hard time.

 My son was born 2 and a half months early and weighted only 3.1 oz. He was so little and then he lost a pound which made him 2.1 oz. He was in the hospital for 6 weeks. But he is healthy and happy now. Sometimes babies born early do make it and sometimes they dont.

Your baby was ment to be in heaven. I beleve that there is a reason for everything. 

Someone once told me that it might be gods way of telling us that it wasnt the right time or that there was something wrong with the baby. I dont know if that will help you or not.  Be thankful for what you do have. Try to concentrate on your blessings. I am sure that if you think about it you will have many. I am sure you can start with your husband, your other child, and there are more I am sure. It is never easy to loose someone you love, young or old. God be with you thur this.  I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I do hope you feel better soon. It is ok to think about what you lost every now and then as long as you remember what you do have. What are you dressing your baby in for Halloween?