Things aren't good between me and CJ this week. I really try hard to maintain my patience and speak in an even tone of voice, but the child really has driven me almost over the edge. There's only so much not following directions, ignoring directions, negotiating to get out of punishment, laughing at discipline that one can take. He's usually a pretty good kid. We've had some rough patches since October, but he really was doing better. Things were going so good. I just feel awful because I walked away from him tonight when he was crying in bed saying how much he wanted me to come back. I felt nothing. NOTHING. How can a mother feel nothing when her child cries??? I couldn't even bring myself to give him a hug and a kiss. I feel like crap.
Not only do I feel like crap about this, I also have to follow through on taking away most of his toys. He told me he didn't care if I took them which pissed me off even more. DH stopped and bought boxes after work and tomorrow I'll be packing the toys up. We decided that this was the best course of action. Something needs to get through to him.
And I need to find a chill pill because I seriously don't know what's wrong with me this week. I have zero patience. Usually I'm pretty good, but I don't know what's going on. I'm really off from my norm and its not pretty. So not only do I feel like a horrible mother, I also just feel horrible.
Woohoo..happy valentine's to me. Ya whatever.