My Brother...What to do?

[SingingMomof2]

How do you tell your own brother you can't testify for him on a custody case? My brother asked me like 2 weeks ago and natural reaction i say, "yeah, of course..your my brother."  Since i've had time to think about it, i dont think i can do it. See my brohther and i have had a rocky past. My brother thins that he is ruler of the universe and it all revolves around him...and if it doesn't he has a really bad temper. For my H.S. graduation present he and his now-ex-wife (who i am friends with still) deciced to take me with them and my nieces to South Padre Island(in july)...I thuoght it would be a blast...I had one stipulation though..that we were back by Saturday night (a week later) because Pastor was announcing Brandon and I were engaged and the church was throwing us an engagment reception. My brother was fine with that. Well to make a long stry a little less long....I went and only got to go to the beach one day because mybrother took me as a baby sitter! My sis-in law trie to say it wasn't fair but my brother is also 6'3" and at least 300lbs...very intimidating. Then he decides he wants to stay an extra night and not leave until Sunday ...so then we start arguing and i end up telling him he's a big bully and acts just like our dad...(if you've read my other post 'opinion on this essay' you kinda have an idea...and he's very mean, anger problem, a bully etc.) So my brother stands up and pushes me on to the bed, me being a little stubborn, stand right back up in his face (i am 6'3" also)and tell him not to push me...with a few other choice words in there. He raises his fist to me and is an inch away from hitting me..I tell him go ahead and he will be locked up with charges against him....He backs away and tells me to get my sh*t and find my own wayy home. So i get a taxi over to the next bigger town, use my credit cars and hope a bus home. Because of that incident my brother didnt walk me down the isle, and almost didnt let my nieces be in the wedding..He barley even came..He didnt stay for the reception or have a dance with me...( he was a really good brother when i was growing up so i wanted him to walk me down the isle and to have the "father/daughter dance with me except of course it would be a brother/sister dance). My brother has pushed me a lot and almost hit me a couple of times...He even pushed me going into my moms house because he found out we were looking at houses in mustang...were i grew up and just so happens to be were his ex wife lives...He pushes me, i trip over the thresh hold walkinging into my moms house and busted my lip on the conor of my moms entertainment center....This happened on my moms bday everyone stands up my ubby  gets between me and my brother and my mom and my stepdad ask him to leave. He's never hit me or my mom but he is very abusive with his language too though. And i knwo he has abused my ex sis in law. i was there and so was my 3 yrs old at the time niece..and she has pics of the bruises. So i'm sitting here thinking...how can i possibly testify for my brother...because you know there going to bring up his temper(he even lost a really good job because of his temper) and ask if he's abusive. I cant lie about it...I dont think he would ever hurt his own kids but at the same time i never thought he would hurt me or his own wife either. So how do i tell him that i can't testify for him. Things were starting to be like a normal brother sister relationship..I know when/if i tell him its oging to destroy that relationship again.  Help me...

[my2luvbugs]

Oct. 24, 2007 at 11:50 AM I would try over the phone first, but he may hang up on you.  Then try it again a couple hours after that (gives him time to hopefully calm down).  If you feel threatened, and he comes over after that phone call, lock the doors and heck, even call the police if needed (sorry, I don't know how bad the situation is).  But your safety and the kids safety are #1 priority.  I wouldn't be able to testify either and know in my heart you're doing the right thing for those children.  Yes, this may cause another rift between you both and it may last, but you have to do what you feel is right for those children.  Good luck with whatever decision you choose.

[babygabesmom]

Oct. 24, 2007 at 5:32 PM Def not in person. I would try over the phone first. If he hangs up on you more than once, at least you know he got the idea. I would not let him into your house after you tell. Def do NOT testify if you feel that way about him. The safety of the chilren is more important than keeping him happy. Trust you're heart and God, you'll do the right thing

[shurrie82]

Oct. 25, 2007 at 9:18 PM Im so sorry you have to go thur this. I do agree with the other ladies. Try calling first. You got to do what is in your heart and whats right for those kids. I pray that God gives you the strength.

[LawanaM]

Oct. 30, 2007 at 11:15 PM I have to say I agree with everyone else.  I'd call, at least then it is voice to voice but not so intimadating as in person, but more personal then a letter.  Plus if he starts getting too angry and verbally abusive you can always hang up easier then you can leave a place.  I'm so sorry you are having such issues.  I don't have any connection with my brother either, haven't seen him in years.