-
Ahhhhh.....Life With Kids!
- Oct 25, 2007 at 11:51 AM
- By
- Comments (5) Total Views (235) Everyone can see this journal post.
Sometimes I think that the only sanity I glean on a daily basis, seems to be when I actually LOCK the door and (try to) use the bathroom! I say "try to" for two reasons. One, at seven months pregnant, my body doesn't really behave the way that I would like it to, and to try to prevent uglier events from happening (i.e. HEMORRHOIDS! I know TMI, but hey, like who hasn't gotten them during or after pregnancy!?), I have to relax and try to let nature take it's course, therefore making it a monumental event. And secondly, why is it that the moment I get up from the couch, I am being questioned by every member of my family as to where I think I am going? Did our 2,000 sq/ft home suddenly turn into a mansion that I am unaware of, that will swallow me up in its massive rooms the second I turn a corner? Was I not taught the secret handshake or signals needed to inform the other members of my "team" of my intentions? Or, the one that I like to think must be the number one reason, "My family simply stops breathing when I step out of the room, and can't take a breath until my return." This must be it, right? Why else would grown teenagers feel the need to bang on your bathroom door, with the urgency of impending death, if you don't open the door and answer such important questions, such as "Can't I have the last of the chocolate sprinkles for MY ice cream?!"
These interruptions seem to increase in intensity during episodes known as "bubble baths", or apparently, in my house they are referred to as, "bug-the-crap-out-of mom, she-will-agree-to-anything time." Trouble is, I have caught on to this little game. Although, I must admit, during my guilt-ridden, single-parent stage, I did give in to this game quite a bit. Anyone who has been a single-parent understands this stage. You pick your battles, as you are the "final say" on anything and everything. Then, the guilty side of you thinks, "How could I possibly lock my wonderful children out, especially if they need me, or God-forbid, the house is burning down!? What kind of mother would I be!?"
So, we become used to them barging in and needing to know immediately how to clean up a dozen broken eggs on the floor, asking for $20 for the field trip that is TOMORROW that you are just hearing about for the first time right now (and where exactly am I tucking this desperately needed cash on my wet, bubbly body?!), and my personal favorite, magically appearing with all 7 school papers (some failed tests thrown into the mix) that need your signature RIGHT NOW, while in the tub! The mother in you actually stops for a moment to admire the fact they actually remembered a pen! Ahh, memories! But I digress...so, now that I am remarried, and have another adult in my corner (for the most part, because let's admit it ladies, he IS STILL a man after all, but that is for another journal entry!), I don't feel as guilty by locking the door, thereby locking out all of the insanity! Occasionally, that pang will hit, especially when I hear a dish breaking, or bickering between the two teens...but that passes quickly as I turn up the "Sounds of Nature" cd, and add more bubbles to the tub. Which reminds me, I REALLY need to get a spa tub...the sound of those jets will block out a jet engine!
Is it me, or do I just not remember harassing my mother during "private time"? No, I think I knew better than to mess with her time, or if for some reason I had forgotten, my sore butt wouldn't let me forget for quite a while! My kids think nothing of ...my personal favorite....knocking WHILE opening the bathroom door! And while I have learned the hard way to always lock the door, I'm thinking of testing a theory the next time this happens. Knowing how teenagers and their privacy goes hand-in-hand, perhaps that is the lesson I should be teaching? I could take ALL the locks off ALL the doors, especially those near and dear to them? Just happen to refill all the toilet paper in the bathrooms while they are in the shower? Ohhh, and I can't forget to grace them with the ultimate act of respect, leaving the door slightly opened while in the shower! This is a good one, because not only does it cause the temperature of the room to drop 20 degrees INSTANTLY, but allows for more possible embarrassing moments while trying not to freeze to death while soaking the floor and trying not to slip, while rushing to close the door, hoping no one is walking by at that particular moment. Yes, I do believe I will have to try this experiment...now, where is my screwdriver for those locks??
Comments:
HeHeHeHeHaHaHa!...I am laughing inside myself so hard because....THIS IS ALL TOO TRUE in EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE GIRL!!!! Yes, I CAN RELATE to every one of those things! Especially the....let me open the door while Moms in the shower with shampoo on her head & her eyes closed so she doesn't burn them out and then ASK....'HEY CAN I GO TO THE MALL WITH THE HAMILTON'S AND Oh, I NEED ABOUT $60.00 ATLEAST". You've never seen anyone finish their shampoo & shower SO FASSST!!! Oh, the "Where are YOU GOING" in a 1500sq ft house gets even better....Good Grief...the dog even follows me into the bathroom these days...I have to run even HER OUT so I can do my business ALONE!!!! Locking the doors? Ariel just knocks incessantly until I get mad and say 'ok,ok....Whaaaaat?' and the locks get UNlocked. How about when Jeff & I are trying to have a little huggy bear-kissy face at 11pm and you hear this...."knock,knock,knock real softly and then your mind thinks...OMG WHAT IF SHE HEARD SOMETHING JUST BEFORE SHE KNOCKED..HOLY CRAP." There's no such THING AS PRIVACY IN THIS HOUSE EITHER!!!! So, YES I CAN DEFINITELY RELATE!!!!!! and btw....You are an excellent Writer....ever thought of doing it professionally??? LOL~~~ Meanwhile...I'm going to dance around singing my heart out to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" while no one is home BUT ME while I'm doing the housework today......"Belle" my 80lb Ridgeback seems to get a kick out of it, hehehehehe!!!!
WOW..... so its not just me after all =0) I swear I thought everyone else had these picture perfect lives and I was the only one that was going insane! My personal favorite... is the phone just rang everybody rush to go sit/stand within 5 feet of Mom, humm... fight.... or better yet directly try to get Moms attention by saying "Mom, Mom, Mom" pretend you dont notice the thing attached to her ear and ask her a question that you feel requires immediate attention. Even though you have had the permission slip for a week and half this seems like a good time to ask. After all the field trip is tomorrow!!!
Already a member? Click here to log in
- VivianasMommy
Message Friend Invite