Sidestepping the Tantrum

[duano]

Oct 31 2007

Milk Without Chocolate: Tips on Co-operation for Ages 0-5

by Kathy

Sidestepping the Tantrum: SAY YES!

Ever look forward to a walk with the kids and end up with a bloody nose, kids who barf all over the stroller, and run away dogs! All higher education degrees aside, this stuff is tough! No one teaches you how to handle a toddler’s tantrum while in the supermarket, bathroom stall or on a walk; never mind two kids at once.

On the Walk

It started out with a “Whhaaa” from my one year old and a few whiney requests to walk from my two year old. Without thinking I react and let the two year old walk! Once you let one out, you have to be FAIR and let the other out. That pricey college degree my parents paid for did not prepare me for the mayhem that ensued! I held my one year old in my arms and attempted to push the stroller while keeping the other child on the sidewalk. You guessed it, I said fair well to the dogs. I don’t even know how the bloody nose and double barf events happened. I can tell you they closed out this momentous walk. It could have been worse . . . at least it wasn’t raining!

 

Rewind: What Was the Goal?

When I began, the goal was to enjoy the exercise while connecting with my children. Clearly, my decision to GIVE IN to the “Whaahh” and the whine, did not support that goal.

Sidestepping the Mayhem

What to do? Before the next walk, I made a decision to stick to my goal and walk and connect. Committed to this decision, I had to push through much pleading and begging. Push through I did, repeating my “YES” statement in various ways:

• “Yes, you betcha. You can walk AS SOON AS we get to our road.”
• “Yes, that it is so exciting to have something like walking to look forward to. You are so lucky.”
• “What is the first thing you are going to do when you GET to walk? Hold my hand or push?”

. . . Distractions work too

• “Hey, did you know cars have wheels and what do wheels do? (We all know what comes next—32 choruses of The Wheels on the Bus . . .)”
• “Hey, can you remind me to call Nana when we get home?”

Results

In the end we all got what we wanted. A walk together and time to connect. Another benefit to all of this—my children are learning how WE take walks together.

Tell me about your favorite “Yes” story, in The Forum (I know I have more to share). http://sharedventures.net/home/2007/10/31/milk-without-chocolate-tips-on-co-operation-for-ages-0-5