Done Done Done
- November 1, 2007 at 8:48 PM by donnma
- 2 Comment(s)
- 43 Total Views
I am so done with being overweight! Oh my gosh until the last couple of years (yeah I'll blame Jaydon) I had been overweight but fine. I mean I could still function like anyone else. Now I feel so worn out all the time and things are a lot harder to do and embarassingly enough some things I can not do.
Excercising and dieting have never gotten me anywhere, and Ihave tried just about everything please don't suggest anything 'cuz you don't have my body, system, or whatever. Believe me when I tell you been there done that. I do not know why the change; if it was because when I was pg with Jaydon I did absolutely nothing (out of fear of losing her). Or if it is just age and late in life preganancy or if it is just my body catching up to the weight, but now it SUCKS. Yep I feel like CRA _ and worn out all the time. I use to be able to climb stairs, ride bikes, go for long fast walks, and many other physical activities, just like when I was young, but oh no, I feel old and fat now.
So, this year I decided without a doubt I am getting WLS in Mexico. I'm done, I'm tired of it, I am totally fed up with my body not responding to traditional ways of staying in shape and/or losing weight. Now here is the problem, this year my dh had a major injury and was out of work for 5 1/2 months, and now in his line of work it is slow ugggggg!!!! I AM READY NOW, and some old tax issues are finally catching up with us and I just keep thinking it is never ever gonna happen, I am gonna die in this body that is not even mine.
OK it is mine, but it does not, and has never felt like mine. My body has betrayed me! It is a villanous traitor that is not following the rules set forth. I want to get the old me, the real me back. Maybe you can relate, maybe not, as for me I feel trapped inside a vessel that does not show the real me and does not reflect who I am.
It seems like every day that passes is another day I am stuck with this stranger holding the real me captive somewhere beneath all that fat!
Tags: fat, done, frustrated, annoyed, stuck
- Written by donnma on November 1, 2007 at 8:48 PM
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Comments:
OK....so maybe I can not and will not quote anything from the bible, but I will tell you that I love you so much Donna. I DO hear you. I hear your pain and cry's......I will tell you that I am not going to tell you to love you for who you are, and to just relax.......that is not going to help you nor is what I am thinking and feeling...what I am going to tell you is this.....I have 2 very dear friends of mine that know exactly how you feel. Not to mention one of them's MOM who DID have the gastric. I know that it has changed her life dramatically. I just talked with her about this very subject just days ago. I know that you want to do this more than anything, and you have my support so much more than you know. It is weird when we look in the mirror and don't recognize who it is that is looking back at us. I have had that happen to me on way more than one occasion. Fortunately I have not had the physical struggles so much as the emotional, and spiritual ones....You know also that I have had a weight issue at one time, and I know how terrible that was.
It's like, how in the hell are we suppose to get through life if everyone sees us as something so different from how we see ourselves?????? Thank God for modern medicine sometimes....as much as it hurts me to say that, it is true sometimes. Not every proceedure is in vein. My girlfriend just had a tummy tuck, lipo, and a boob job. She is the most wonderful person. I love her so dearly. Yes, we have lot's of fun together, but she is also a confide'nt. I truly love her. She had this proceedure for the same reason that you want yours. Not to be a stripper, but to be and look like how she feels. She didn't get boobs the size of a porno queen. She ultimately ended up with breasts to proportion her size and figure. Note: she is 5'11 with a very large frame, and had very small breasts. (A cup).......she has battled her weight forever, and has, like you, done everything to no avail.
OK. So bottom line here. Let's figure out what to do Donna. I am so here for you. We can laugh together, but we can also cry together. I am so glad that I am not out in left field anymore. I am so glad that I can be HERE for you should you need me to be. You are such a wonderful person.OMG!!! You truly are. I can see and know for sure that you are so frustrated. I know who you truly are, but I don't think that everyone knows because you are in that HOLE that you feel you can't find your way out of. I think that your life has been and is hindered my THIS misery. I know that there is an out. I, like you think that the gastric is probably your way out. So........the question now is, what do we do now? How do we get this done???? Let's talk about it. Let's make a plan. Let's stop talking about how wonderful it would be, and just figure out how it is going to get DONE. We know that it is possible, so let's figure it out. I so want this for you Donna...... I love you.
Love,
YOUR SIS IN LAW
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Hi,
So am reading this and I just wanna to say to hang in there, things will turn around for you and you'll get to do what's best for you in God's perfect timing.
I like this verse from the Bible:
Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Rosie
rod2005 Nov. 6, 2007 at 11:07 PM