I know that this will get easier some day

[Becki6]

I knew that when we decided to have a large family, there would be many challenges that we would have to overcome.  The most challenging time (other than Teen-age years) is the years between 1 and 5.  They are so adorable, but yet so strong willed and strong minded.  It is the most crutial part of their developement.  I find myself making lots of mistakes.  Sometimes I am not consistant, just because I am so tired.  Then, they lose respect me and  I feel like they try to take advantage.  Steve and I seem to take it out on each other at times. 

The difficulty that I am having with all of them so close in age is that they are constantly fighting for my attention.  If one is screaming, "MOM", then all of a sudden, they feel the need to compete for my love and affection and they are all screaming at the same time.  It is hard to reason with them when they go into this mode. I have been trying to give them each individual attention, but it is difficult seeing that they are all on the same schedule.  Skylar out of all of them is acting out the most.  The twins were born only 11 months after her. Due to the fact that I was on bedrest for three months before they were born, I never got a chance to bond with her.  She seems to be the most demanding of my time and attention.  I cannot blame her, but I have been struggling to find my way with her.  I am pulled in so many different directions.  There is also the issue of fighting over toys.  It seems that even if they all have the same thing, they still find a way to fight over it. 

I try to sit and play with them or read them a book, but it always turns into an arguement wether it be what book we read or who is going to sit in my lap or who will turn the page.  It is very frustrating just to get through one story.  Then, I have all of the screaming.  When ever LaReina is frustrated, or does not get her way, she will throw a huge tantrum and scream at the top of her lungs.  It gets everyone else going. 

Then, they hit each other and pull hair.  I have been using time outs to discipline this terrible behavior, but it seems like they are in time out all of the time and they still do it.

They refuse to eat breakfast, luch and dinner and then get down from the table and immediately ask for a snack.  It seems as though I have made a mistake here.  They think that if they don't like what I have made for them, they can just get down and have a snack whenever they want it.  THEY ARE SNACKING ALL DAY LONG.  I need to change this right away, they are developeing some terrible eating habits.

Nap time and bed time are a nightmare.  It takes about an hour to get everyone down for nap and then, bedtime is worse, they will milk it out for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours.  They fight over who will go to the bathroom first, who will brush their teeth first, who will sleep with what stuffed animal.  One wants the door all the way open, the other wants it half closed.  They fight over who will get to look at what book.  

Getting them dressed is the same issue, especially Skylar.  I take them in their room one by one and try to get them dressed.  They have a TON of clothes (thanks to Grandma Canty)  They have a very hard time deciding on something to wear.  I try to teach them about matching colors, but sometimes they want to wear ridiculous outfits and I give un, Oh well.  Yesturday they all went to the store in Balerina outfits.  There is no harm in this, but it is frustrating again because they fight over who is going to where what.

So, why am I writing this down?  Because I am frustrated and need to make some changes.  This is my way of getting it out, so that I can start making some changes.  I feel very alone in this.  I get lots of advice from my mothers, but I do not feel that they really understand my issues, in fact they contribute to the insanity with their overindulging and spoiling.  I am going to make the following changes:

Simplify:  Get rid of some of the toys and clothes.  Give them less choices to make.

Constitancy:  I will no longer give them a choice of what to eat for meals, if they do not want to eat what I made, then they will have to be hungry.  No more snacks unless they have eaten their meals. No more sugary snacks, only healthy snacks after nap time and before bed.

STOP YELLING:  Not just me but them.  If I set a good example, they will eventually follow.

NO MORE HITTING:  When they hit, they will be punished every single time.  If they spend the day in time out, then so be it.  It makes me so sad to see them hit each other over stupid things.

More One on One time: I will try to give each kid individual time every day.  I'm not sure how I will do this yet, but I know that it is extremely important.

I already feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest just putting this into words.

I love my family so much and just want everybody to be happy.  This is the most important job that I will ever have and I want to succeed.  I know that I can do this!!