So recently my boyfriend and I seperated. We have to be on speaking terms because he is the father of my child. I hated to move out, but he is a total jerk. Every time we talk he acts like his life is miserable, but I beg to differ. He was verbally abusive and never helped take care of the baby, so I feel justified in my decision. Ever since I got pregnant I have been under a lot of stress, and since the baby came out I have been under a ton of stress. I love Samuel so much and I would not trade him for anything. But it is hard taking care of a baby, my life revolves around him. My social life has ceased to exist. My ex gets to go out and talk to people and hang out with his friends all the time. I get one night of freedom a week and I can't hang out with a lot of my old friends because he hangs out with them too, it's really awkward trying to have fun when he is around. There is nothing to stop my ex from picking Samuel up for a few hours so that I could just have some time to myself. And on top of all this I still have thirty pounds to lose, my body is covered in stretchmarks, there are blackheads all over my nose and chin, there are dark circles under my eyes. I look like crap and hardly ever get to do anything, and he gets all the sleep he wants and gets to socialize all he wants!! I feel guilty for having these feelings, I'm angry and depressed.

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bunny...
Nov. 4, 2007 at 10:28 AM

It is hard to be a new parent and have a social life.  Especially as a single parent.  It sounds like you need to focus on yourself first.  Take babysteps to take care of yourself, and build your self-confidence.  Start taking walks with your baby.  Even at the mall if the weather is too cold.  Take one of those evenings when you have a few hours and pamper yourself.  Take a relaxing bath.  Give yourself an at-home pedicure and facial.  When you start feeling better about yourself, your outlook on life changes.  Things won't seem so overwhelming.

 As far as becoming more social, it will be difficult to move in the same social circles if your ex is in them as well.  Look for local groups that focus on mothers.  It is an opportunity to be social, talk with other moms who understand the trials of being a new mother, and daycare is usually provided.  You'll be making friends, and building a support network for yourself. Good luck to you!

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